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At Christmas Time

At Christmas time,
The windows close
And fog out
The chilly clime.

The stars in the sky,
Are burning and bright.
The children are warm
And cozy inside,
And the little match girl
Is left out to die.

Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Last few words: 
Poem written for Christmas day. Now submitted to the More meter workshop.
Editing stage: 
Workshop: 

Comments

Didn't know what to expect with this one. I guess the poetic spirit speaks through people without them knowing it. I'm glad it touched you. I really am. Hope all is well now :)

No verse is free for the man who wants to do a good job. - TS Eliot

http://www.wsgeorge.com/

author comment

I nearly didn't read this because of the title, but glad I did.

cheers,
Jess
Neopoet Directors

Thanks!

No verse is free for the man who wants to do a good job. - TS Eliot

http://www.wsgeorge.com/

author comment

At Christ/mas time,
The wind/ows close
And fog/ out
The chill/y clime.

The stars/ in the sky,
Are burn/ing and bright.
The child/ren are warm
And coz/y inside,
And the little/ match girl
Is left out/ to die.

A mixture of Iamabic and Anapestic but it all works wor me. The line

And fog/ out

is called weak iambic because it starts and ends with unstressed syllables.

cheers,
Jess
Neopoet Directors

I see the anapestic. It's in the last two lines right? I'm learning now!
%

No verse is free for the man who wants to do a good job. - TS Eliot

http://www.wsgeorge.com/

author comment

...I read this poem BECAUSE of the title, and I am very happy that I did! This is a somewhat eclectic piece, as far as structure goes...but, my God! What a clear, concise slice of life! Too cruel.
This is a very solid effort!
Sincerely,
doc.

Neopoet is "newtriffic" !
...from the heart, or a reasonable faxcimile;
david a. goodwin #{:>{)} @==

Most people didn't like it, because they thought it was too sad. I wrote it as my submission to a Christmas poetry program. I'm glad you think well of it.

No verse is free for the man who wants to do a good job. - TS Eliot

http://www.wsgeorge.com/

author comment

I can usually tell someone specifically why I like something. I read this the day it was posted. I liked it then and like it now but can't point out why lol.......stan

Let me drop a few hints: Was it the message? The brevity (I like short too)?, the meter (wasn't thinking of it while writing)? lol

I'm glad you like this. I'l confess, it's one of my favourites too :D

No verse is free for the man who wants to do a good job. - TS Eliot

http://www.wsgeorge.com/

author comment
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