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Changes
Changes
The roads are here and there to direct the way
And nowhere are found trees coloured in hues of grey.
But the songs posted on the roadside slowly become unfamiliar
And the forest’s attire suddenly doesn’t look all that similar
And theirs plenty more fish in the sea,
Kind souls that will make your heart sing with glee;
But, how I loved the old school
And the way they made me laugh like any other fool.
Family is what you make of it,
And I know I can easily bond with any foreign wit;
But nothing’s as precious as the original pride
That’s created by the years grown side by side.
Everything’s a variant shadow of the same ghost,
From the east to the west coast;
But when it's all left behind
No amount of similarity will change the grief felt inside.
Style / type:
Structured: Western
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Comments
neopoet
Fri, 2023-08-11 21:01
Neopoet AI 5-29-23 version
The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet's computer artificial intelligence:
The poem "Changes" explores the theme of transformation and the bittersweet nature of change. The use of imagery, particularly with the roads and forests, effectively conveys the shifting landscapes and unfamiliarity that come with change. The poem also touches on the idea of finding new connections and appreciating the value of family and familiarity.
One suggestion for improvement is to consider refining the structure and flow of the poem. While the overall message is clear, some lines could benefit from being more concise and focused. For example, in the line "But the sings posted on the road side slowly become not so familiar," the word "not" seems unnecessary and could be omitted for a smoother rhythm. Additionally, some lines could be rearranged to enhance the overall coherence and impact of the poem.
Another aspect to consider is the use of metaphors and similes. While they can be effective in conveying emotions and ideas, it is important to ensure that they are consistent and coherent throughout the poem. For instance, the
Please send feedback about Neo (our computer generated critique system) to https://www.neopoet.com/contact
Lavender
Fri, 2023-08-11 23:11
Changes
Hello, Maelle,
I have a sense that this piece is extremely personal to you. I'm not completely certain of its meaning, but I can tell you how it spoke to me. There is a need to be true to oneself, and the struggle to find the family, people and places where one belongs comfortably and naturally. "Everything's a variant shadow of the same ghost." What a fantastic, poetic line. Likewise, the final line is strong - sad and lonely.
There are a few typos / misspellings:
"But the sings posted"...should be "signs" I believe?
"And theirs plenty more"...should be "there are."
"But when its all left"...should be "it's."
I hope to hear what the poem means to you.
Thank you!
Lavender
Maëlle Blanchette
Sat, 2023-08-12 18:45
Hi Lavender,
Hi Lavender,
I wrote the poem quite quickly while on a road trip with my sister, which would explain the typos haha! I'll definitely look into the mistakes :) I'm currently moving away from my home country to another and I find myself struggling a lot with the changes brought from the move. I guess, to me, this poem is about missing home and feeling like the new home I'll build here will never feel as good, and as familiar as the one I left behind. I miss my native language, my culture, my friends and my family. This poem is a conversation, in a way, with the conflicting feelings of getting the chance to start anew, yet not wanting to let go of the old. That being said, I think depending on the reader, the poem might change meaning, and that's what's beautiful about poetry! Make it mean what you want it to mean!
Thank you for the replies and the kind words,
Maelle <3
thank you for the replies and the kind words,
Maelle <3
author commentLavender
Sat, 2023-08-12 23:42
I am so glad
you shared its meaning for you. So beautiful! Best wishes with your new move. I hope it is peaceful.
Thank you!
L