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Changes

Changes

Once something changes,
what can change it back.
it flies away
the heart, like a feather
fallen on a hot street
blown among the traffic
and crowds of glossy lasses and horny lads
where will nature be taken?

Oblivion treads among them.

The rare tree a hero
the bird a heroine, monumentally
remind us of the nature we lost.

Style / type: 
Free verse
Editing stage: 

Comments

Welcome to Neopoet: An interesting piece of lament, and nicely structured
I think its good to make this point and yet I look for language of art to strengthen the poetic side I tend to think of poetry as musical which is transcendent while still concrete or polemic Some times when things are paired down they have greater impact

Once something changes,
what can change it back.
EX:
change
cant change back.... I don't think you need to ask....are some things lost forever?

it flies away ….seems to ethereal for the ravaging of the worlds eco systems
acid rain
loss of resources and habitat
climate change
forced migrations
starvation
disease
fear
death
ie the land a desiccated corpse...the land, a necropolis

I hope you know this is a workshop We try to help each other We give it and we get it
What I say is only helpful if it gets you wondering, makes you think, seems valuable
Its just my opinion as I consider the potential power of language

Again welcome to Neopoet We all want you to thrive here
Best Z

(I would keep the punctuation consistent ( I am pro-punctuation most of the the time)...

Once something changes,
what can change it back?
It flies away-
the heart, like a feather
fallen on a hot street
blown among the traffic
and crowds of glossy lasses and horny lads.
Where will nature be taken?

Oblivion treads among them.

The rare tree a hero,
the bird a heroine, monumentally
remind us of the nature we lost.

wdyt?

Eumolpus
I'd rather learn from one bird how to sing
than teach ten thousand stars how not to dance
ee cummings

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