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Captive Thoughts

Submitted by C.L. Sweet on Mon, 2023-05-15 02:42

The suffocating walls confine and poison me,
The door might as well be miles away to break free.
Long have I waited for a way out, for a chance,
To escape the cycle of despair and break free from this trance.

My feelings reside deep inside, trapped in my skin,
And toxic thoughts linger, unwelcome and unrelenting.
Every step towards the door feels like a weight,
As I fall into the same patterns, time and again, unable to escape.

I yearn for someone to care and erase these dreadful thoughts,
But every effort feels like an invitation to another onslaught.
The kindness I seek from others is nowhere to be found,
And disappointment lingers in the air, without a sound.

Review Request (Intensity): 
Please use care (this is a sensitive subject for me, do not critique harshly)
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Last few words: 
I struggle with depression and anxiety, and it's often difficult to convey to others what it's really like. Through my poetry, I attempt to capture the complex and overwhelming emotions that come with these conditions. I hope that by sharing my experiences, I can help others who may be going through similar struggles feel less alone and more understood.
Editing stage: 
Not actively editing
Content level: 
Not Explicit Content

Comments

Geezer

Mon, 2023-05-15 11:26

Geezer's picture
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I see it everywhere. I have had bouts of it myself, and don't know how I have escaped the full force of it, but certainly am glad that I have. I would tell you or anyone how to avoid the plague of the countless people that are afflicted these days. All I can say, is not to give up! Keep writing, keep telling your tale and making us believe. Your title is good, [it brought me in].
Your rhyme is good, and the while the meter is ragged, the pace makes it readable. The theme has lots of interest for many
and is well told here. ~ Geezer.
.

There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.

C.L. Sweet

Mon, 2023-05-15 16:14

C.L. Sweet's picture

Thank you so much for your kind words and encouragement regarding my poem. It means a lot to me, especially coming from someone who has experienced similar struggles. Your advice to keep writing and telling my tale is something that I will certainly take to heart. Even though I still struggle from time to time I am finding more peaceful days and will write about those feelings as well.

I appreciate your feedback on the title, rhyme, and meter of the poem. I'm glad that it caught your attention and that the pace made it readable. I'll keep working on refining my writing skills.

Thank you again for your support and for taking the time to read my poem.

C.L. Sweet

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