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BUNDLES
I drift to three decades ago
standing beside wife's birthing bed
when time and space appeared to slow
as wide eyes blinked from new son's head.
A wee bundle of what might be
held in this carpenter's tanned arm.
His trust directed straight at me.
Trust that I'd keep him from harm.
For thirty years I've done my best.
Raising a child is never done.
A new father now begins His quest,
this young man who is still my son.
Another bundle now is passed
to arms with hairs now mostly gray.
A grandchild for me to hold at last
brings sunshine on this winter day.
So now a different bundled stare.
Son of that bundle long ago.
I've so much I want to share
before it comes my time to go.
Nolan Waco Holliday born Jan. 2 , 2013
Style / type:
Structured: Western
Review Request (Intensity):
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction):
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Last few words:
I'd like this to be something special before I give it to his father and mother, so any suggestions welcome........stan
Editing stage:
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Comments
scribbler
Fri, 2013-01-04 09:31
hi Beau
Looking forward to your input. You can call me whatever you want lol. Feels strange to become an official member of the old fart's club.............stan
author commentscribbler
Fri, 2013-01-04 16:42
Hi Beau
Like most of my stuff, I wrote this first then titled it. I'll give the bundles thing some thought for a few days but if I eliminate any it will only be one. Appreciate your returning after giving it some thought..............stan
author commentRoscoe Lane
Fri, 2013-01-04 01:30
Congratulations,
Congratulations Stan, a very nice poem for a very nice occasion. Regards Roscoe...
Roscoe Llane,
Religion will rip your faith off, and return
for the mask of disbelief that's left.
scribbler
Fri, 2013-01-04 09:33
Hi Roscoe
Thank you..............new fathers hand out cigars. What do grandfathers hand out? Maybe cigar butts lol..........stan
author commentsueb
Fri, 2013-01-04 04:42
ah lovely poem for a lovely
ah lovely poem for a lovely event congrats enjoy x
scribbler
Fri, 2013-01-04 09:34
Hi Sue
Thanks for such kind comment......................stan
author commentJenifer James
Fri, 2013-01-04 04:52
Lovely and evocative of a
Lovely and evocative of a special time.
Jenifer Jaspa James
scribbler
Fri, 2013-01-04 09:36
Hi Jenifer
Thanks. It is taking some getting used to thinking of myself as a grandfather lol............stan
author commentSeren
Fri, 2013-01-04 07:36
Congratulations Stan
My tears say it all, its not often a poem makes me cry
It's a beautiful poem you should frame and give to your
Son ..... My dad would say this is a bloody beauty
But I will say Bravo !!!! Grandpa :-)
With love and congrats xxx
“The world is full of magic things, patiently waiting for our senses to grow sharper.” — W.B. Yeats
scribbler
Fri, 2013-01-04 09:41
Hi Jayne
Was not my intent to make you cry but at least they're not the wrong type tears. It will be interesting to see what Waco (which is also my middle name, a family name passed to me from My grandfather) winds up calling me and Susan. Thanks for dropping by..................stan
author commentFrenchf
Fri, 2013-01-04 15:08
Was absolutely lovely
Until you called yourself an old f..t. Ruined the beauty of the two generation birth for me.
French
scribbler
Fri, 2013-01-04 16:45
hi French
Sorry about the old fart thing but they say to thine own self be true lol. Reckon I'm lucky it was in commentary and not poem else it would have really ruined it for you. It's always good to see a newer arrival drop by.............stan
author commentFrenchf
Fri, 2013-01-04 17:29
Never very sure whether there is a difference in spelling
Of gray? Or grey?
Love the grey hairs on arms. The whole was just beautiful. The secret YOU can't be an old.....
Congratulations on babe
Frenchf
Fri, 2013-01-04 23:30
Humbled
By your knowledgeableness
scribbler
Sat, 2013-01-05 09:08
Dang French!
Now you've done it, her head's gonna swell now until she'll need new hats lmao...........stan
author commentFrenchf
Sat, 2013-01-05 16:00
Nose rings
Will she need new nose rings?i blew up the picture and those eyes disquiet me. I tried to see beyond them.seems lovely enough from comments but ...........???
Frenchf
Sun, 2013-01-06 00:38
Private picture needed
After that description I do need a few pictures of someone who is so...... Interesting!
Frenchf
Sun, 2013-01-06 03:34
Don't change it to that pseudo image
I like the real you xxxxx
scribbler
Fri, 2013-01-04 21:43
Hi
I'm glad the use of tanned arms first then gray arms later was effective in displaying the passage of time. As to the grey/gray thing, both spellings are correct but gray is probably more prevalent here in US than in Europe..........stan
author commentlonlyhrtsclub13
Sun, 2013-07-07 02:35
very touching
I am sure you are enjoying your grandson. How true when you say raising a child is never done. My son will be ten in February. He has begun the process of becoming a young man, plus maturing from his battles with manic depression. I am fortunate I have two more who is still very young but the time goes so fast.
Keep Writing,
Carrie
"Quoth said the Raven, NEVERMORE"
scribbler
Sun, 2013-07-07 11:36
Hi Carrie
the time goes even faster with a grandchild as one isn't there each day to see the gradual growth .It's like a slide show as opposed to a movie lol. Thanks for visiting a poem which appeared from the depths via a minor edit.........stan
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