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being born (a poem for the obdurate)

Submitted by Victorclaude on Mon, 2010-11-01 09:10

being born (a poem for the obdurate)

kill what you don't understand
annihilate what you cannot control
deplete your resources
murder even the water,
trees, and rocks
you would kill the stars if you could
but reach them
you act like your heart was torn out
as a child

now you cannot steal enough
kill enough --
or cause enough pain
to fill the void where your
heart once was

lay down your arms for the rest
of us
and forego your vengeance for
being born.

Style / type: 
Free verse

Comments

mand

Mon, 2010-11-01 09:39

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I particularly like the last stanza and the expression, "you act like your heart was torn out as a child".

plenty to think about with this captivating poem.

Love Mand xxxxxx

Victorclaude

Mon, 2010-11-01 22:40

Victorclaude's picture

Thank you, Mand.

Sometimes, I just wish I didn't see this stuff, but I guess I can't help it, then things like this step out of my head onto the page.

Anyway, thanks again.

Victor

"When a pickpocket meets a holy man all he sees are his pockets."

Unknown (at least to me)

author comment

Victorclaude

Mon, 2010-11-01 22:46

Victorclaude's picture

My dear Shirley,

Would that there weren't wickedness or wrongdoing . . . As long as we are wishing, would that there were nothing but joy, at least for a day, just for a break.

Thank you, Darling!!

Victor

"When a pickpocket meets a holy man all he sees are his pockets."

Unknown (at least to me)

author comment

Geezer

Mon, 2010-11-01 18:51

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and it's a matter of personal taste. You use the word murder twice. I always try to use another word after the first use. Maybe try destroy, something like: "destroy what you cannot control." Great work though. ~ Geezer

This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place

Victorclaude

Mon, 2010-11-01 22:42

Victorclaude's picture

Hey, Geezer --

I heard you on your suggestion and I changed murder to annihilate. I do and don't like the ring to it. This poem even freaks me out, because there are real people out there who act just like I described them.

Scary . . .

Thanks,

Victor

"When a pickpocket meets a holy man all he sees are his pockets."

Unknown (at least to me)

author comment

Victorclaude

Mon, 2010-11-01 22:47

Victorclaude's picture

Rosina,

Thank you very kindly.

Victor

"When a pickpocket meets a holy man all he sees are his pockets."

Unknown (at least to me)

author comment

Bonitaj

Tue, 2010-11-02 07:56

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Liked the title with it's bracketted clause... in simpler terms - "living among the stubborn"!
Very powerful write - a plea for clemency and a recognition of the pain born by those who resent being here!
good to read your stuff! will keep an eye out for it!
THanks
Bonita j

Bonitaj

judyanne

Tue, 2010-11-02 11:26

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i have nothing more to say
i am left with one of those stunned silences in my head
'lay down your arms for the rest
of us
and forego your vengeance for
being born.' - just totally brings me undone.

love judy
xxxx

'Each for the joy of the working, and each, in his separate star,
shall draw the Thing as he sees It, for the God of Things as They are.'
(Rudyard Kipling)

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