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Beauty Sleep

Beauty Sleep

I sat watching shadows outside my window
Thrown through the trees by golden lamps
Those that clung to the Earth from the Moon
Breezes drifted them all to and fro as the Ocean

Too warm to sleep, I let dream time come and go.
Each patch, casting a memory into fleeting spaces
Drifting so, I rested into your gentle feelings.
Shadows out there,a tilt, the flick of your hair

Dark places that held the depth of your eyes
The movement of the evening, held your smile
I stayed with you, as stars twinkled and were gone
Moon shadows followed, as new shadows rose

Then shadows lengthened once more, to shorten again
The window glowed as if an Angel was watching me
There in the new light, I felt renewed though tired
Your Memory became bright I turned from the window..

Style / type: 
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
How does this theme appeal to you?
Last few words: 
Just a thought !!!!
Editing stage: 

Comments

Between waking and sleeping is brought to mind
Iw ished for a bit more intensity but perhaps the ethereal quality is the twilight zone?

Thanks this one has to be quiet it is where there is a patch where you nearly let go to sleep, it has to be a gentle quiet sneak into another place.
I notice that Stan questioned the wake dreams part, I was trying to put another dimension in there where we go, imagination takes over the state twix sleep and wake and sometimes can show many things, thanks for sitting there with me, or whoever it was written about lol,
Yours Ian.T

.
There are a million reasons to believe in yourself,
So find more reasons to believe in others..

author comment

lovely x

Thanks for your visit, glad you liked the write it was a thought of that space between sleep and wake, I use this a lot, it is like a channel to other worlds if you can use it, Take care and thanks again,
Yours Ian.T

.
There are a million reasons to believe in yourself,
So find more reasons to believe in others..

author comment

In my opinion among your best. The imagery was spot on and not trite nor worn out. Only thing which you might look at is 1st line of 2nd stanza.......................stan

Many thanks for your stopping by I was asleep and didn't notice you there lol..
The line you mention:- (Too warm to sleep, I let wake dreams come and go) Too warm to sleep, I let dream time come and go.
Is there another name for this state we usually say it is a shallow trance that beckons to all sorts of things, used by many for channelling, I didn't want to use Trance but will look at it a little.
Thanks again, Yours, Ian.T

.
There are a million reasons to believe in yourself,
So find more reasons to believe in others..

author comment

As someone who has trouble sleeping I have often been in between the conscious thought and the dreamtime whispering, I really think this is lovely I cant see anything I would add or change I checked the revisions and noticed you changed the first line in the second stanza couldnt see anything else you changed maybe I missed it, I like the current line that includes dream time

lovely poem thank you for sharing it with me

with love Jayne-Chloe xxx

("Always and Forever") - (Never lose a holy curiosity.-Albert Einstein)

Thank you for your visit, I feel a lot better now I have put some other poets writes in chronological order.
Commenting is hard when the calendar is messed up, this is when writing needs a lot of care..
Lovely to hear that you are having rain at the moment at least that is in the Now lol, I'm surprised you aren't outside running around in it, I would go out and shuffle a bit LOL, Yours Ian.T

.
There are a million reasons to believe in yourself,
So find more reasons to believe in others..

author comment

I just walked in from outside the rain is beautiful nice solid soaking rain it looks like its set in for a while Woooop smiles

Love Jc xxx

("Always and Forever") - (Never lose a holy curiosity.-Albert Einstein)

Those children tell me everything if only I would learn to listen.
Have a lovely day, Yours Ian.x

.
There are a million reasons to believe in yourself,
So find more reasons to believe in others..

author comment

The downpour overflowed the gutters it was truly lovely its cooled everything off can't describe what a relief it is ... I hope it rains all night

Love Jc xxx

("Always and Forever") - (Never lose a holy curiosity.-Albert Einstein)

smashing Ian
we all know you can do it

loved

I will think about something for later we can only put one poem on per day lol.
Take care young Bard, remember that the ice is only cold if you touch it Food for thought, Yours Ian.T

.
There are a million reasons to believe in yourself,
So find more reasons to believe in others..

author comment

the very look of it makes one shiver
especially an unclad bard like me
roving about on the streets
of abject poetic poverty
tc

JUST ASK those stalwarts
what have they achieved by limiting to a single poetry
except showing their authority
over nothing

small minds destroy greater invention
i think

creativity is unlimited
but they curb
who have no nerve
and its down trodden outright folly
we all have to them serve
they will call me an ass
it doesn't matter they recognise their brethren
what of bard you say
Ian do try and persuade have your Ian'''ish way

loved

Sometimes here, I would rather be some place else and spend the precious time doing other things, but we are a family and one that we chose to join.. So the petty squabbles and tantrums of some, and the way others need to control, we just have to accept..
I can write more than one piece per day, but they may end up all being bad so I don't.
I get very cross as you know, of those I comment on that don't reply, I know I cannot correct their form, but as their poetry talks to me, I can say if the theme is good, and where some of the rhyme and reason is OK.
I wouldn't try to influence others except in the field of love of all, but that is a world they must seek even in the nastiest person they meet.
Young Bard we have been here for many a day and suffice to say, that our journey is good.
I shall check a few Icicles this morning, but when I did it before, after the first few they seemed to become warmer to the touch, it is a strange world we live in, I walk with you each day, you probably know more of me than I of you, or do we.
Can you see the loss I carry, or the hurt that is engrained in my soul from my life, can you see things that are not there in front of your eyes young Bard.
We shall walk some more before the night comes, Yours Ian.T

.
There are a million reasons to believe in yourself,
So find more reasons to believe in others..

author comment

Young Bard
we have been here for many a day
and suffice to say,
that our journey is ........good.

loved

Lovely, gentle feeling from this. Spot on. Liked it.

Ells x

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did you willfully overlook it
or haven't found the moments yet
when to traverse ur own page... Ian..

loved

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