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Be Brave

think of a boy
learning to swim

from his perspective
the lake is so much bigger
than his little body

it looks to swallow him whole
and he is heavy as a rock

but somehow
with a little help
he learns to beat
his arms and legs
for long enough
and at the right angles
to keep himself afloat

even in the most
overwhelming circumstances
remember that
like the boy
we are designed for success

Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Editing stage: 

Comments

the theme and message are pretty good...i think all you need to do is to give it a poetic feel
just my thought..wait for feed back from others..
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raj (sublime_ocean)

"Absolutely Beautiful! Enjoyed reading your creativity!"
Intimate deep soul searching.- Just to be enthralled in loving memories is a wonderful poem expressed."
A wonderful place to contemplate love and you brought the imagery out very well."
"I was about to turn off the computer for the night when I found this. I really liked reading it! You're quite a poet
Beautifully written! I could feel the hope in these words. I enjoyed the read! :)"

Mario Vitale

Nice encouraging write with a vivid description of learning and all the fears associated with accepting the new task and possible failure. Well done flow.
If only everything would be as simple as learning how to swim.

IRiz

thanks raj, for your honest response.

author comment

iriz, thanks for your words. it IS a bit of a simplification. and my life is certainly more complex than learning to swim. haha. but I do hope that we are ultimately designed for success.

author comment

I like your attitude of a brave learner it is related to Zen idea of a beginner's mind, but adds the optimistic believe to a winning predesign.

IRiz

IRiz, I think beginning mind is just what I'm going for. Seeing life as something to be constantly learned, experienced as an unfolding revelation. Am I interpreting the concept correctly?

author comment

Yes, perfectly right, a beginner's mind is the one that stay open for new revalations and is not afraid to admit how little it knows and is happy to learn, change and evolve.

IRiz

thanks mark!

author comment

Liked how you sent the message
It's delivered naturally through out the verses.
Thank you for sharing.

❤❤❤❤❤❤

Poetry is when an emotion has found its thought and the thought has found words
........Robert Frost☺

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