Join the Neopoet online poetry workshop and community to improve as a writer, meet fellow poets, and showcase your work. Sign up, submit your poetry, and get started.

Barbcue Beach...

The “Big Kahuna’s” tent was shaking
breathing in and out
There were little sobs and screams
As he pushed away his doubts

A young “Wahini” fleeing
from the canvas flapping shade
Tears streaked upon her face
She feels so fucked... betrayed

He cannot let her go
she will tell the world
What he did to her
the “little surfer-girl”

She races for the water’s edge
but he’s too quick for that
He grabs her slender neck
and throws her body flat

He feels the power of the moment
thrusting from his loins
His hands around her throat
his grunts; her cries are joined

Ripped from the saddle of her pain
he is twisted agony
Broken limbs are flopping
bloody eyes that cannot see

A shadow and a voice of calm
tells “Wahini” she should go
She listens, but she doesn’t move
“I’ll stay, I have to know”

Killer shrugs and lights the stove
says; “I’m about to eat”
“If you want, we can share
a dinner of this meat”

The thought of eating “Kahuna-meat”
intrigued this little one
She told “Killer” sure I’ll stay
“It sounds like dining fun

Soon the flesh was spitted
and roasting o’er the flames
They sat and introduced themselves
[they only used first names]

She rummaged through the cooler
In “Kahuna’s flapping tent
Brought out the sparkling wine...
they watched the stars that heaven sent

They crunched and munched the barbecue
They drank up all the wine
They fed each other tidbits
They felt so very fine

Spreading seeds of happiness
Killer sowed some future kin
The surfer-girl’s eighteen tonight
now she’ll don a mother’s skin

The seeds of Killer are potent
they are not to be denied
always want their pound of flesh
baked, boiled and stir-fried

“Wahini” seems to know that
she accepts it, like it is
She has to know that they pay
They need the “Killer’s kiss”

A new day in the making
two tracks that were as one
wander single down the beach
under a blood-red rising sun

Style / type: 
Structured: Western
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Last few words: 
Somehow Killer overshot California and got to Hawaii before I did. Maybe he'll stop in on the way back.
Editing stage: 


I am so glad that Killer went that way, he is better in the Pacific as they only stopped eating Long Pig in 1957 so he will blend in.
Talking about blending just thought of a Killer Cocktail LOL, but we had better not make him really bad just yet.
Visions of Gee running along a beach in a grass skirt, pursued by a knife wielding Killer..
Grand write there youngun, Yours Ian.T

There are a million reasons to believe in yourself,
So find more reasons to believe in others..

not #%&* with Gee. Gee could put him in some very bad places. Although the vision of Killer chasing someone wearing a grass skirt along the beach is pretty funny. Maybe we should have a contest to create and name a drink after Killer. Thanks for the read and comment. ~ Gee

Writing purely for oneself, is the ultimate in defensive posture.

author comment

I will see if I can find the "cock tail's" for killer in my older red book..
"Blood On the Hock's" is one that I recall and of course the vampires favourite "Bloody Mary"
"Corpse Reviver" a great starter.. 2 parts cognac
1 part apple brandy or Calvados and 1 part sweet blood, lol
"Death in the Afternoon" favoured by Hemingway.. Champagne,
Absinthe, with just a few drops of Blood..
"Hangman's Blood ":- is compounded of rum, gin, brandy, and porter, maybe the Porter is from an hotel lol..
" Lynchburg Lemonade" follows the act of throttling someone.. 1 part Jack Daniel's, 1 part triple sec, 1 part sour mix (All the nasty body parts) and 4 parts lemon-lime soda..
"Rose Kennedy" and of course the "Harvey Wallbanger" we all know that they are part person plus bits of drink thrown in to throw of the locals..
"Jack and Coke" Then the oldest one I can find other than "The four Horsemen" is "The three wise men" all distilled from an ancient remedies,very handy for a hip flask between Kills.
Anyway there are a few more but the writing has faded and there are some nasty rust looking stains on the pages.
Have a lovely day, Yours, Draugr

There are a million reasons to believe in yourself,
So find more reasons to believe in others..

the drink recipes, they will come in handy during the Holidays. The hip-flask sounds like a great idea too! Just the thing for those cold, rainy nights of lurking. ~ Gee

Writing purely for oneself, is the ultimate in defensive posture.

author comment

really enjoyed the poem gr8 story thanks

We really like it when our readers let us know that they enjoyed an episode of the "Killer" saga. He is still evolving, even after all this time, and it's all because of the people that let us know about the things that they like. ~ Gee

Writing purely for oneself, is the ultimate in defensive posture.

author comment

even killers have the need to procreate, can we expect
to see a new wave killer in the midst? You ever thought
about writing a book based on this guy? The storyline is
a seller in today's love for the horror filled days.

I've been considering it for a while. I'm thinking that I might take all the poems that come of his world-tour and gathering of cannibalistic-recipes and make it into a book. As to the thought that there might be a new-wave killer in the making; that's something I hadn't considered, but... Who knows? The progeny of "Killer" might want to look up their father. Maybe he can explain a few things to them. Thanks for the read and comments, ~ Gee

Writing purely for oneself, is the ultimate in defensive posture.

author comment

I recommend you read some books writen by Bob/Robert Barrett hes an australian author I really love his Les Norton books they are brilliant I am going to find a couple of his first books and send them to you, killer reminds me a little of Les dont know why but he does ;) .... thats the link to his official site

loved the newest installment :) I am slowly reading all killers works smiles

love n higgliest bugs JC xxx

("Always and Forever") - (Never lose a holy curiosity.-Albert Einstein)

that you are enjoying the exploits of "Killer" Maybe fresh eyes will discover the reason that Killer reminds you of Les. [ I'll bet that it turns out that they are both the strong, silent type. with a little danger thrown in.] Women just seem to love that stuff ! Anyhow, thanks for the link to Robert's site. I will be sure to go see what he is all about. Love and higgest bugs, ~ Gee

Writing purely for oneself, is the ultimate in defensive posture.

author comment
(c) No copyright is claimed by Neopoet to original member content.