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Am I Free?

In my head, my pretty head
I am diminished

In my eyes, my pretty eyes
I am clairvoyant

I see purple
or a mix or red & blue

The point is, my pretty point is
my angry auric hues
confuse

So goodbye my head, my eyes
my sentinels to the 'other' me

I see purple
it sounds like fear
it feels like thread

I pull the twine sublime
the thread in my head
connected to The Source

I am removed
of course
I am free
my conscious
IS me.

Last few words: 
More tweaking and formatting!
Editing stage: 

Comments

Really like the content. Reads very well although I would like to see the paragraph broken into two. The words "I pull the twine of sorrow" felt cliche among what were otherwise well crafted words.

Enjoyed it,

Scott

Scott

After some weird formatting and a little tweak...version # 2

Glad you enjoyed it. Also as a novelty, recorded a spoken word version of this. Might consider recording my favourites from my back catalogue as I do craft certain words and feel quite precious about how they 'sound'...should learn to let go and hear others tackling my words!

Ells :)

author comment

Like the changes. Really like the spoken word, too. I can't believe that you would consider not writing any more, but then I can, because I say it all the time myself.

Scott

Scott

I liked the style of repetition "In my head, my pretty head" and so on and then setting oneself free of tradition and guided by conscience...creating the differentiation in my mind akin to wild flowers v/s neatly pruned flower beds..i really loved the innovation if I have read you right...

Regards,

raj (sublime_ocean)

At least in my book. Another delightful collection of imaginative rhyme and even the content is special.
I can offer (or at least I won't) no suggestions. It is the epitome of "polished draft" to me.

W. H. Snow

A poet is a nightingale, who sits in darkness and sings to cheer its own solitude with sweet sounds. Percy Bysshe Shelley

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This is a cracker I loved it nothing to add or change in my opinion, I hope I get writers block like you, smile.

just leaving my X...I was here ;)

love JC xxx

("Always and Forever") - (Never lose a holy curiosity.-Albert Einstein)

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