Join the Neopoet online poetry workshop and community to improve as a writer, meet fellow poets, and showcase your work. Sign up, submit your poetry, and get started.

L

Evil Emancipation

                Evil  Emancipation



                Flesh that is oozing corruption
                melts from the sin of my bones
                flowing without interruption
                into a darkness unkown

                Nightmares are dreams of the living
                seen through the eyes of the dead
                fantasies quite unforgiving
                that crawl through the cave of my head

                Screams that erupted from laughter
                echo forever in time
                odes to despair and disaster
                chanted in meter and rhyme

                Here, on the threshold of madness,
                I sink into pits of despair
                driven by torment and sadness
                no prayers can dispel or repair

                Unleashing the demon within me,
                I drink from the blood of it's hate
                seeing my soul resolutely
                arise to embrace it's true fate


                C.  Lon  R.  Bruso
     
               

               
               
               
— Lonnie, Jun 21, 2010

About This Poem

About the Author

Region, Country: New England, originally, now, Macon, N.C., USA

Favorite Poets: Poe, Frost, Bob Dylan

More from this author

Critiques

jetz

jetz

15 years 11 months ago

This is awesome. Your rhythm

This is awesome. Your rhythm and rhyme were perfect. As I read, it just pulled me along, like rolling down a hill. Of course, being able to relate to the content was an added plus. Thanks for sharing. Sue
L

Lonnie

15 years 11 months ago

Many thanks, Sue!

Now you'll have to write one also! (like this) LOL!! Anyways, I do appreciate you dropping by to read and leave a comment, thanks again!
LZ

Lil Z

15 years 11 months ago

This is amazing

You have such a gift, this poem is absolutely brilliant!
L

Lonnie

15 years 11 months ago

Thank you, Lil Z!

I'm very happy that you enjoyed this poem and will look forward to hearing from you again!
Roscoe Lane

Roscoe Lane

15 years 11 months ago

Lonnie,

you have done it again, beautiful poem that just flows perfectly. Regards Roscoe..
L

Lonnie

15 years 11 months ago

Thank you Roscoe!

Sometimes they come easy and sometimes they don't! I thank my muse that this one just seemed to pop right out there! Glad you liked it!
xena465

xena465

15 years 11 months ago

Fab Lonnie

But I think I may have a nightmare or two tonight...brilliant. Xena Quote: Science is what you know; philosophy is what you don't know. - Bertrand Russell
L

Lonnie

15 years 11 months ago

Thanks, Xena!

This one came to me as I lay awake last night, so I got up and wrote it down before it left me altogether! I'm happy you enjoyed it!
P

poewriter58

15 years 11 months ago

Lon

Perfect rhyme. Those are some pretty heavy duty words that you have written there. Makes one think about what they are saying. Excellent dark poetry since I am not permitted to nominate you for spotlight let us say that I did and leave that to another. love you Chrys
L

Lonnie

15 years 11 months ago

Thank you, M'Dear!

It's always a distinct pleasure to please you with one of my poems! As for the content, well, that's me! Thanks again Love!
Tonya

Tonya

15 years 11 months ago

Now Lonnie,

This is such excellently done. The meaning melds so well with your rhyme. Truly an art and not easily done. There is no chopping of thought nor that kind of off word sometimes used to make the fit. I'm wondering if we all don't feel this way sometimes? I strive for such perfection! (I do not like the star system, and rarely ever, ever use it..but I am making an exception here. True quality needs recognition.) Always, and very sincere, Tonya
Tonya

Tonya

15 years 11 months ago

p.s.

I did nominate it for spot light!
L

Lonnie

15 years 11 months ago

Thank you, Tonya!

I am flattered by your kind comments! It makes me feel good to know whenever I have connected with a reader and I guess this poem connected with you! Thank you for coming by to read and comment!
S

scribbler

15 years 11 months ago

evil

another great write from a fellow "classic" writer.Can't believe I'M about to make a suggestion to YOU,but here goes:line 4 seems to need another syllable,maybe something like:"into darkness completely unknown" or some such.I may be just misreading..........scribbler P.S.always free to tell me to jump in lake
L

Lonnie

15 years 11 months ago

Thanks, Scribbler!

Since I live right next to Lake Gaston, maybe I 'd better be the one to jump in! You might be correct about that fourth line, I'll have to think on it! Anyways, thanks for reading and commenting!
Seren

Seren

15 years 11 months ago

The flow in this ones superb

The flow in this ones superb Lonnie your a master of rhyme ... nominated nothing to be offered critique wise my friend its wonderful as it sits love and hugs to you both JayCee x x x (“In time we hate that which we often fear.” William Shakespeare quote)
L

Lonnie

15 years 11 months ago

Thanks, Jaycee!

I deeply appreciate the nomination and kind words, but even more, I appreciate the fact that you enjoyed the poem!
mand

mand

15 years 11 months ago

What can I say, I agree with

What can I say, I agree with everyone else, flows to perfection, but I feel sad that you are in such torment. Love to you Mand xxxx
L

Lonnie

15 years 11 months ago

Thank you, Mand!

As is often the case with many poets, it seems that some of the best I have to offer emanates from my darker side! Glad you liked this little tidbit!
judyanne

judyanne

15 years 11 months ago

lonnie

you are the wilfred owen of neopoet i love your writes love judy xxxx http://www.strategicpublishinggroup.com/title/TwentyMyPrettyPonies.html
L

Lonnie

15 years 11 months ago

Thank you, Judy!

I must admit that I am not familiar with Mr Owen, but if he is known and respected by you than you do me great honor indeed! Thank you again and I'm glad you liked this poem!
judyanne

judyanne

15 years 11 months ago

he was a world war 11 poet lonnie

he was a soldier - died at the tender age of 19 (i think) he wrote realistic war poetry on the horrors of trenches and gas warfare he wrote such poems as 'anthem for doomed youth' - What passing bells for these who die as cattle? Only the monstrous anger of the guns. Only the stuttering rifles' rapid rattle Can patter out their hasty orisons. No mockeries now for them; no prayers nor bells; Nor any voice of mourning save the choirs, The shrill, demented choirs of wailing shells; And bugles calling for them from sad shires. What candles may be held to speed them all? - Not in the hands of boys, but in their eyes Shall shine the holy glimmers of good-byes. The pallor of girls' brows shall be their pall; Their flowers the tenderness of patient minds, And each slow dusk a drawing-down of blinds. and 'dulce et decorum est' - Bent double, like old beggars under sacks, Knock-kneed, coughing like hags, we cursed through sludge, Till on the haunting flares we turned our backs And towards our distant rest began to trudge. Men marched asleep. Many had lost their boots But limped on, blood-shod. All went lame; all blind; Drunk with fatigue; deaf even to the hoots Of tired, outstripped Five-Nines that dropped behind. Gas! Gas! Quick, boys! – An ecstasy of fumbling, Fitting the clumsy helmets just in time; But someone still was yelling out and stumbling, And flound'ring like a man in fire or lime . . . Dim, through the misty panes and thick green light, As under a green sea, I saw him drowning. In all my dreams, before my helpless sight, He plunges at me, guttering, choking, drowning. If in some smothering dreams you too could pace Behind the wagon that we flung him in, And watch the white eyes writhing in his face, His hanging face, like a devil's sick of sin; If you could hear, at every jolt, the blood Come gargling from the froth-corrupted lungs, Obscene as cancer, bitter as the cud Of vile, incurable sores on innocent tongues, My friend, you would not tell with such high zest To children ardent for some desperate glory, The old Lie; Dulce et Decorum est Pro patria mori. i hope you don't mind my taking up your space with these two poems of his. they are greats in the annuls of anti-war poetry love judy xxxx http://www.strategicpublishinggroup.com/title/TwentyMyPrettyPonies.html
L

Lonnie

15 years 11 months ago

Wow!!!

No problem, Judy, and thank you for posting that info! Those words are great!
DD

diana duncan

15 years 11 months ago

Good came out of Evil

Hi Lonnie. I have to join the others in complimenting you on a superbly written poem. As they have all said - lovely flowing lines, lots of feeling, great use of words. My only little nit-picky thing, and please don't feel it's a criticism, but "its hate" and "its true fate" should be as I have written it. "It's" is the shortened form of "it is", and "its" is the possessive form. Hope this makes sense? It's a brilliant poem, and I love its sensitivity (note my use of it's and its) :-)
L

Lonnie

15 years 11 months ago

Thanks, Diana!

Seems like I always miss the simple stuff like that! I appreciate you bringing it to my attention, and thank you for your kind words!
SH

shirley harrison

15 years 11 months ago

The brilliance of you!

just an amazing poem!much love shirley harrison
L

Lonnie

15 years 11 months ago

Thank you, Shirley!

Feedback is what we poets thrive on, and I thank you for taking the time to read and comment on this poem! Also, I'm glad you liked it!
Sinbadthesailorman

Sinbadthesailorman

15 years 11 months ago

Made me pause only once was this your intent?

The flow was excellent until the third stanza. You have Screams and odes and echo. Echo is very correct the way you have it here, but me being me I need to hear echo's and it is most likely only me, but If I may suggest echo's echoing forever in time I really don't mind the way it reads now, but it did make me stop and pause when I didn't see a need to pause and felt interrupted by the pause. Was there I reason for the pause I felt ? did you mean for the reader to pause? Did i miss something? or is the hint too slight or did I alone just miss it? Donnie/Sinbad
L

Lonnie

15 years 11 months ago

Hmmm! Not sure, Sinbad!

I'll have to think about that one! However, I'm glad you enjoyed most of the poem and I thank you for your kind comments!
Sinbadthesailorman

Sinbadthesailorman

15 years 11 months ago

I enjoyed the whole Poem Lonnie and I push the (+) button also

Was just wondering if the Pause I felt was intended by you! Or if I read some thing into the poem that was not there. Donnie/Sinbad As maybe a single scream may have been the Reason for the Emancipation of the Evil. I most times try to place things like this and often times find them, when I don't plan for them, as if I plan them at all!But I get bummed out when they stop coming (The works or poems) but I get overwhelmed when they do not rest or rather give me rest for at least a little while.
L

Lonnie

15 years 11 months ago

Thank you, Shayla Rae!

I don't believe I've heard from you before and I greatly appreciate your input! My preference in poetry is rhyme and meter, so perhaps that is why it comes so naturally to me! Thank you so much!
Kailashana

Kailashana

15 years 11 months ago

my suggestions on a usually

my suggestions on a usually perfect, Lonnie poem: Nightmares are dreams of the living seen through the eyes of the dead fantasies quite unforgiving crawl through the cave of my head is *That* necessary? Unleashing the demon within me, I drink from the blood of its hate (its not it's) seeing my soul resolutely arise to embrace its true fate (its not it's) Rock on soldier boy, rock on! ~A
L

Lonnie

15 years 11 months ago

Thanks, Anna!

As I told Sinbad on his suggestion, I'll have to think on this one also! Always very pleased to get any and all feedback from you! Thanks again!
Rett

Rett

15 years 11 months ago

Lonnie, what can I say?

I bow to a master! Respectfully, Rett: “Anyone who sacrifices liberty for security deserves neither.” Benjamin Franklin
L

Lonnie

15 years 11 months ago

Thanks, Rett!

As always, it's good to get the take on a poem from one as talented in the genre as yourself! Glad you enjoyed this write!
Geezer

Geezer

15 years 11 months ago

Glad to see ya ...

In the spot-light again! I am so glad for you! I guess you are right, sometimes it seems like those of us that are the most tormented, write of the turmoil that holds us best. Sorry for your hardship, but glad for your work. The poem sounds like it came from the inside of Killer's head. He is tormented too. ~ Gee
L

Lonnie

15 years 11 months ago

Thanks Geezer!

It's always good to hear from you and get your take on something! Glad you enjoyed this!
greeneyes

greeneyes

15 years 11 months ago

wow

im at a total loss for words! amazing!
L

Lonnie

15 years 11 months ago

Thank you, Green Eyes!

Feedback from folks I don't hear from too often is especially welcome! I thank you for reading this and leaving a comment, also, I'm glad that you thought it was a good poem!
Breakinglogic

Breakinglogic

15 years 11 months ago

Lonnie

Fluidity at it's finest. Impeccable write. Peace and cheers, logic
L

Lonnie

15 years 11 months ago

Thanks, logic!

I'm very glad that you enjoyed the poem and I thank you very much for coming by to read and comment!
N

Noirjente

15 years 11 months ago

!!!!!

Actually, this is not bad at all and has me scratching my head as to other things. Well done . . .this time.