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Sharing a Breath of Life

I smell the fruit
of the persimmon tree
and a haunting begins
as shivers run free

of the road ahead
and one laying behind
I sweep them all up
and out of my mind

as a shadow appears
and is far past the veil
his robes swung out
like wind in a sail

in his eyes is an evil
that glitters the dark
the cut of his mouth
like the score of a mark

his hair of serpents
reach out in glee
and it was then I held
my soul close to me

his reason for coming
was that I had sold,
my soul for a life
that no air does hold

but I found out, that
sometimes god forgives,
in my sacrifice was found
the very reason I live

someone had perished
so I could breathe air,
but what I would give now
if we could have just shared
 

— Seren, Jun 20, 2010

About This Poem

About the Author

Region, Country: Beyond the Black Stump..Australia, AUS

Favorite Poets: Pablo Neruda, P.K.Page, W.H.Auden, to many and various to include them all ...

More from this author

Critiques

Candlewitch

Candlewitch

15 years 11 months ago

Dearest Jayne

A brilliant and profound write. Just one small thing, make breath breathe? Love, Cat ps I should have specified where. It is in the last few verses.
Seren

Seren

15 years 11 months ago

Cat

Your an Angel, I thought something didnt look right when I posted but you just made me realise I posted the wrong edit lol fixed and its much smoother now and thanks for picking up the breathe even I missed that one love and hugs JayCee x x x (“In time we hate that which we often fear.” William Shakespeare quote)
xena465

xena465

15 years 11 months ago

A life for a life

That's always been the natural course of nature. For every death there is new life, and vice versa. If only we didn’t have to die and we could live forever, but as we know, that can never be, except if there is such a place that is big enough to house all our souls; if there is an end of time as we know it, and we enter a new plane of existence. Wouldn’t that be wonderful? Xena Quote: Science is what you know; philosophy is what you don't know. - Bertrand Russell
Seren

Seren

15 years 11 months ago

I love that you got the

I love that you got the message of this one Xena ... big smiles ... i could hug you Love and big hugs JayCee (“In time we hate that which we often fear.” William Shakespeare quote)
Seren

Seren

15 years 11 months ago

a gentle funeral march eh ?

a gentle funeral march eh ? lmao just joking smile crocodile lol love and big hugs love me xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox (“In time we hate that which we often fear.” William Shakespeare quote)
R

raj

15 years 11 months ago

Hi JayCee

while reading it your lovely write i could feel another captivating story unfolding line by line...leaving one wondering "who was he"?..:) my favourite lines in your write are his robes swung out like wind in a sail wonderful imagination.... much love...raj (sublime_ocean)..
Seren

Seren

15 years 11 months ago

Hes gone from this plain Raj

Hes gone from this plain Raj long time ago ;) ... but I will always love him love and big hugs smiles JayCee x x x (“In time we hate that which we often fear.” William Shakespeare quote)
SH

shirley harrison

15 years 11 months ago

JC

this is an incredible piece of poetry, i loved every last word "wonderful" Much love shirley harrison
Seren

Seren

15 years 11 months ago

Dear Shirley

Thanks so much for your beautiful comment it made a very tired mind smile tonight love and hugs JayCee x x x (“In time we hate that which we often fear.” William Shakespeare quote)
lou

lou

15 years 11 months ago

JayCee

One word Beautiful . love lou xx
Seren

Seren

15 years 11 months ago

Dear Lou

Thank you hun ... much appreciated love and hugs JayCee x x x (“In time we hate that which we often fear.” William Shakespeare quote)
DawningDaytripper

DawningDaytripper

15 years 11 months ago

You don’t make it easy

You don't make it easy J.C. Yet again I am stuck with out a suggestion. See how you are! J.K. I love the word persimmon, that is such a great word and you used it well! This reminded me of one I wrote once, just a little. One sinner choice. No worries to go read it, I think you did. Both deal with the fact that, the sinner has a past and may have sold thier soul. But that God does forgive us if we seek it, Wonderful write I loved it. Love ya bunchs luv! Julie D.D.
Seren

Seren

15 years 11 months ago

Dear Julie

I love the word persimmon just rolls in your mouth always wanted to include it in a poem ... its fruit has been linked to some devil worhip or something lol I am tired id have to look it up again but yeah thanks for the wonderful comment just was at your page a little while ago loved it love and big hugs JayCee x x x (“In time we hate that which we often fear.” William Shakespeare quote)
yenti

yenti

15 years 11 months ago

No Sale Today

Or any day this is a deep piece of worry along lifes journey we always wonder at what we may have done that would endanger our souls and if we sold ours, You cannot do that little one as it is you and no-one else in there, That light which would light a thousand stars glows in waiting for a glorious day some where out there where you think you will be, it is yours to take. Now live each day as you will with the knowledge that you can write exceptional fiction, your way is strewn with stories that make things bend but I know that you walk only in a straight line and all see this in you, Yours Ian.T
Seren

Seren

15 years 11 months ago

Big Smile

Ahhhh you are getting to know me too well .. and this is fiction made from the threads of my imagination .... glad you thought it ok hun was good to hear from you tonight going to have a shower and get human again lol I am tired and the sleep nymphs are coaxing me lol ;) big hugs and love to you both JayCee x x x (“In time we hate that which we often fear.” William Shakespeare quote)
Geezer

Geezer

15 years 11 months ago

What if?...

We often wonder what if? It's what makes us more than animals. Who has not sold their soul, for happiness? I have sold myself for many things, many times, and there are a few times when I have regretted it, but I know that the universe loves all of it's children, and I am forgiven. You always seem able to give me reason to ponder the big questions. You are a gem, a polished stone, that shines in my conciousness, thank you, Love and hugs, ~ Gee
Seren

Seren

15 years 11 months ago

Dearest Gee

as are your lines for me, always shining a truth or making one think ... thanks for the comment on this one I forgot to answer you last night got a bit hectic round here and I forgot to answer a few comments lol love and biggest hugs JayCee (“In time we hate that which we often fear.” William Shakespeare quote)
Geezer

Geezer

15 years 11 months ago

'S OK...

I know how that is. I have found that my days have been a little hectic lately too. I have fixed one or two of the lines that have been bothering me. Did I get the ones you were looking at? love and hugs, ~ Gee