Seren

Oct 26, 2009 ⭐ View statistics (Premium feature)

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I Closed your eyes
So you couldn't see,
taking your hand
leading you free

Walking ahead
you followed my lead,
my eyes were yours
it had been decreed

Diving through reefs
cut with sorrow and pain,
I paid with my blooding
and slashing a vein

As knives were drawn
stabbing to kill,
I block with my sword
till they bow to my skill

Clashing with Titans
sent from the past,
my shield and Armour
will an eternity last

Lost to delusions
that erased my name,
ripped from a mind
stained in sorrow and pain

Slowly all roads
did narrow to end,
this warrior to maiden
laying arms transcends

Releasing your hand
that one last time,
Bereft of your hold
fingers touch the sublime

Breaching tendrils
of times membrane
I look back to ponder
what man cant explain

— Seren, Oct 26, 2009

About This Poem

About the Author

Region, Country: Beyond the Black Stump..Australia, AUS

Favorite Poets: Pablo Neruda, P.K.Page, W.H.Auden, to many and various to include them all ...

Critiques

Calliope

16 years 7 months ago

Wow Jayne!

I really like this one, it has a poignant quality that attracts me,i like this theme too you work it well i really like these two verses... Lost to delusions that erased my name, ripped from a mind stained in sorrow and pain Slowly all roads did narrow to end, this warrior to maiden laying arms transcends Beautifully written in my eyes! Love and hugs Lacy Where power corrupts,poetry cleanses.

Seren

16 years 7 months ago

Dear Lacy

This one was put on raw this was how I wrote it ... I havent done a thing to it ... and I am pleased you like it sometimes they just came together ... this was another poem that was made from two ... they just seemed to fit together and I thought experiment lol .... big hugs of love Jayne x x x

lyz

16 years 7 months ago

Dear Jayne

Quite exciting. I loved the read and it is very well done. Loved it Lyz. xx

Seren

16 years 7 months ago

Dearest Lyz

Hows you going hun ? ... this one was one i made from two different poems .. I have done it once or twice before and seen these two side by side tonight and thought merge them together ... just an experiment ... love and hugs Jayne x x

lyz

16 years 7 months ago

And merge they did

Well done and I still enjoyed the read regardless of any changes. I will be looking forward to your next. Love to you and yours. Lyz. XX

Seren

16 years 7 months ago

Dearest Lyz

Thank hun I am glad you liked it sometimes its a risk putting two together ... but sometimes it pays off ...I am so tired today ... how are you feeling now? better I hope lol and Jades morning sickness ? hows that going ? poor baby I remember what that was like ... love to you and all Jayne x x x

Candlewitch

16 years 7 months ago

Beautiful

Hey, did you know that you are beautiful? This is the third time I have tried to leave a message, each time taking over five minutes. I'm going to try once more. My favorite verses are: Slowly all roads did narrow to end, this warrior to maiden laying arms transcends Releasing your hand that one last time, Bereft of your hold fingers touch the sublime Breaching tendrils of times membrane I look back to ponder what man cant explain You, my dear, are the maiden warrior! Love, Cat

Seren

16 years 7 months ago

Dearest Big Sis

Awwwww your gorgeous darlin' ... those lines came from nowhere the last ones I wrote them a few weeks ago ... but I like this one its a little sad but its just reflecting I guess ... thanks so much for taking the time to read this one ... and the warrior wasnt me in this one I was the one with the closed eyes ... I became someone else in a way I guess you could say ... stood in my friends shoes and wondered what it was like for her ... love and biggest hugs Jayne x x x

hugo la rosa

16 years 7 months ago

Dearest Jayne:

Magnificent poem!!! You have touched deep cords within, not only in my heart, but everybody's heart. This poem's plight is the plight of the whole of humanity. Like skilled warriors we are supposed to free ourselves from the shackles of suffering and dark abysses, whatever they are or represent. Sincerely, Hugo

Seren

16 years 7 months ago

Dear Hugo

You are always so generous in your comments ... and I always enjoy it when you like my little scribbles ... thanks for the beautiful compliment love and hugs Jayne x x

odiumscurse

16 years 7 months ago

Shield made iron

I like this poem battels you survived through strong mind and soul. The title is perfect along with a well writen poem! PHENOM:T.S

Seren

16 years 7 months ago

Dear Phenon

Thanks for the read and the comment ... this ones a little different from my other ones still needs a little tweak but its close to finish thanks again Kind regards Jayne

Silent_Rain

16 years 7 months ago

Hi Jayne...

Great poem, it is sad and lovely... I Closed your eyes So you couldn’t see, taking your hand leading you free Walking ahead you followed my lead, my eyes were yours it had been decreed Diving through reefs cut with sorrow and pain, I paid with my blooding and slashing a vein As knives were drawn stabbing to kill, I block with my sword till they bow to my skill Loved these lines... ~Tabi~

Seren

16 years 7 months ago

Dear Tabi

Omg I just realised I called you tami the other night on your poem so sorry hun ... am really glad you enjoyed this one its a little dark but sometimes dark gets ... interesting lol kind regards love Jayne x x