TREACHERY

Lost unabsorbed amongst
my kindred, a man not a
beast come take your want
have your feast at my table.
As i lay underneath it as you
feed me scraps from my own
plate as you serve me my fate.

I care not what comes next
knowing the best has long
since left .
Your pleasant dreams are my
fading screams driven to despair.

Don't offer me hope or i may choke
its very presence undress its unworthy
charms .

The limitless bounty that was my belief
now chewed up spat out lays unwanted
by any hunger on that very plate you offer
me now .

— ziggy, Oct 01, 2009

About This Poem

About the Author

Country/Region: IRL

Critiques

lyz

16 years 8 months ago

Dearheart

I know this was written in anger and I am so pissed that you were so cheated but you have written this well. A few minor anger mistakes, but I wont bother, they will come to light. My dear Ziggy. What can I say. Love on the breeze, I send to you, To make you smile, And to banish the blue. Love Lyz. XX

Seren

16 years 8 months ago

Ziggy one -them None

I assume someone pee'd you off ziggy well done nice like dummy spit lol I love a good rant and this? came out well controled anger ...great write ... watch the spacings between words you have a few extra spaces you dont need detracts from the format a tad ... but still great work :) love and hugz Jayne :)

ziggy

16 years 8 months ago

dummy spit

enda, patrick collins. hi, yes a rant indeed , wrote in anger in about 5 minutes the pen mightier than the sword i wish it so , thanks for the corrections bye for now ziggy

Hooded Stranger

16 years 8 months ago

Aggression

Superb and this is the best line I have read on this forum: "Your pleasant dreams are my fading screams driven to despair" This is a raw piece, and glad you didn't think too hard before writing it, it needs no changes, which tends to come when you/we/us spend too much time trying to edit work. Hope this gets 'spotlight'. Hope you are over it now though! regards, HS ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- "With all that I am and all that I could be, I walk this earth and yet nobody sees me".

ziggy

16 years 8 months ago

hey there

enda, patrick collins. hey H,S wow what a COMPLIMENT coming from the master of the aggresive written words here in neo , ya i am sort of over it lol so i took up the pen and my anger poured from head through my hand ,,,,,, thank you , i wrote this in about 5 minutes sometimes the best way i agree , i dont wtite angry poetry but its refreshing in its own way ,,cheers chat soon ,,,,,,,,,,,zigg

Candlewitch

16 years 8 months ago

WOW!

What a refreshing rant. I hope the writing of this piece helped cleanse you of all those hyper feelings. I very much enjoyed the expression of your wrath. My favorite lines are: I care not what comes next knowing the best has long since left . Your pleasant dreams are my fading screams driven to despair. Always, Cat

ziggy

16 years 8 months ago

LOL

enda, patrick collins. HI CAT ya , this is about something connected with poetry that i was looking forward to and never happened for me and i was very pissed about it but it over now so i hit back with the pen , i wont be on for a while , chat again i hope ,,,,,,,,,,,ziggy