Seren

Sep 29, 2009 ⭐ View statistics (Premium feature)

Evil Rides the Wind (Edit)

A cascade of blood
flowed down the steps,
but the swish of the sword
hadn't finished yet

Cutting through sinew
bones and veins,
torturing men
faceless no-names

Dripping in blood
and bellowing in lust,
a man with no fear
low sight for the just

Pillaging villages
putting heads on spikes,
raging with evil
with hatred he strikes

Riding through deserts
with bones all around,
these are his leavings
on the roadside are found

A warning to others
don't knock on this door,
or your head may end up
rolling the floor

Mounting his hellion
he rides the wind,
a horrible form
eyes shine with sin

This evil does travel
and may gallop through town,
bolt your doors
and keep your head down

All through the ages
this evil floods,
gushing through streets
as rivers of blood

— Seren, Sep 29, 2009

About This Poem

About the Author

Region, Country: Beyond the Black Stump..Australia, AUS

Favorite Poets: Pablo Neruda, P.K.Page, W.H.Auden, to many and various to include them all ...

Critiques

Bosscombat

16 years 8 months ago

:)

you told me what this one was about before i read it so i have one up on all you other fuckers :P i thought it was awesome really captured what you were trying to achieve Mr Khan and Vlad (even though he has only a tiny relevence) would be proud 5 stars and 2 diarrhea bombs (p.s thats a good thing) <3 ♣

Seren

16 years 8 months ago

Dear Matty LMAO !!

You nutter lol god if only they knew .... thanks for the read,glad you think I captured a little of their essense , they were so powerful in their time and there have been other's but for me the mongul is in my blood so it was natural to draw a little from his story ... love and higgest bugs Jay-knee thanks for having us to stay again LOL beginning to feel like I live down here lately ... btw I burned toast thats what the smell was earlier lmao :P:P

yenti

16 years 8 months ago

Hi Little one

I am so picky picky today that all i will say is give me an AAAA :- A warning to others don’t knock on this door, or your head (my) end up rolling the floor But do keep your end up I should say, but save your energy for another day. A great write as closer to Khan you are than me, I figure should the story be told, that around a table I'd sit as a Knight of old, so I will be bold and say you rest awhile, instead of riding aroung pilaging, LOL Take care of you, Yours Ian.T xx

Seren

16 years 8 months ago

Dearest Knight

good catch I missed that and I went through it twice lol I got plenty of sleep the last two days so dont worry lol all I have done is sleep thanks for the read and the comment and [may] is now fixed thanks to you (hugs)night night x x love and higgest bugs Jayne x x x

Candlewitch

16 years 8 months ago

hello lovely girl

This poem reminded me of Bad Vlad the Impaler. He was a very bloody guy, lol. Many great lines here. I enjoyed the read and gobbled it up most greedily. I was in the mood for a bit of chaos and mayhem, today and am glad it was you that gave me my dose. Love, Cat p.s. is the ending a little rough, or is that my imagination?

Seren

16 years 8 months ago

Dearest Cat

LOL its a cross between dear Vlad and Gengis Khan they both had a love of sticking the heads of their enemies on pikes and dear old khan lol he said if he had to slaughter half his countrymen ... so be it ...its no wonder the khan was so brutal after all the years they hunted and tortured him before he became the khan ... not sure what you meant about the ending but I think It maybe the way I say it ... for me that last verse rolls off the tongue will be going home today will have a look at it tonight you take care huni glad I could bring a little chaos and mayhem where it was needed lol (huggles) love and higgest bugs Jayne x x x

Geezer

16 years 8 months ago

Yeah...

The ending does seem a little rough, dear girl. I think maybe because you just didn't want to stop. Try: of blood to our gates. Just tryin' to help. I love it, otherwise. It got me thinking about Vlad, the dear lad. He really knew how to make things roll, didn't he? I love the story you tell. " Pillaging villages, putting heads on spikes, raging evil, with hatred he strikes." Great gore! ~ Higger bugs, ~ Geezer

Seren

16 years 8 months ago

LOL I just finished saying

LOL I just finished saying to Cat that I had no problem with that last verse and just read it aloud and a friend to read it and we tried to see what you meant lol but It maybe the way I say it lol yikes will have a look tonight when i get home you take care and ill be round later tonight seeing what y'all have been doing today love and higgest bugs Jayne x x x

lyz

16 years 8 months ago

Dear Seren

Hey dear girl, I agree with Gee, I also had gates in mind due to the fact that reading with the flow of rhyme, I automatically put it there where it wasn't, but in saying that, this is a beauty, I enjoyed reading this and yes, I did not want to stop. Nice to see a familiar comment from the boss, lol. Hi.Any who, great write, and feel well and love to u all. Love from us. XX

Seren

16 years 8 months ago

Dear Lyz

LOL read above for the ending thing hahaha but I love history and i didnt want to write a set piece about one of them till I had a good concrete idea for one or both of them ... this was trying to get in the mood for another one I am doing ... and hopefully on the way home I will get it finished lol if i dont sleep all the way home thanks for the message and the wishes hun they are appreciated lol just call me roakill lmao love to all love and higgest bugs Jayne x x x

Quillsvein1

16 years 8 months ago

this

moody little piece could have been inspired by so many innumerable horrendous incidents in history that it would be hard to nail them all down! very well drawn, makes the reader feel it. good job! GB

Seren

16 years 8 months ago

Dear GB

Your right it could be applied to lots of incidents in history ... but until I have a good concrete idea I dont want to write one about the Khan, I have mongol blood in me sooo I have always been curious about my heritage, and hes such a powerful man in history that it has to be a strong idea ... thanks for the read and the comment I always get a thrill when you like them :) take care hun love and hugs Jayne x x x

CyberSpace

16 years 8 months ago

Mad poem Baby you know how I

Mad poem Baby you know how I love gore, love you x

Seren

16 years 8 months ago

Heya bubba LOL your in

Heya bubba LOL your in Mattys room aye .... glad you liked this one ... normally I read them to you but you were down for the count last night ... mwah love you most ;)

ziggy

16 years 8 months ago

evil rides the wind

enda, patrick collins. bloody great , reminds me of a film i was watching it even had the heads on spikes H S will love this another good write

Seren

16 years 8 months ago

Dear Ziggy

thanks for the read and the comment lol I dont know if HS will see this one will be gone through stream, but I am glad you liked it ... take care love and hugs Jayne x

Geezer

16 years 8 months ago

Your ending is...

so much better than what we proposed. Gets another star from me! ~ Gee

Seren

16 years 8 months ago

Dear Gee

While I was down here , we had to stay an extra day am going home in about six hours so in about 9 hours i get to see my babies lol four days without them is way too long ... dont know what I am gonna do when they leave home lol be a blithering mess probably lol thanks for the extra star havnt had a lot of time for edits the last few days ... take care love and higgest bugs Jayne x x x

hugo la rosa

16 years 8 months ago

Dear Seren:

So vivid, and so well written, the descriptions so enthralling, that I had to squint before the shinning swords and shields. This classic read is good somehow for those with low blood pressure... Great write, as always! Sincerely, Hugo

Seren

16 years 8 months ago

Dear Hugo

Had a little giggle at the low blood pressure lol ... certainly not a calming read ... but I had been playing with ideas and settled on this one for the time being, thanks for the read and the comment always a pleasure to see you on my page ... take care .. love and higgest bugs Jayne x x