Seren

Aug 09, 2009 ⭐ View statistics (Premium feature)

Fields to Gula (Gluttony)

Moody blues are playing
to savour in the night
slick a darkness shadows
a Slavish prey in sight

Moving into breaches
pushing past the walls
ravenous is this keening
hunger's thunder calls

Bedazzled in this knowing
darkness folds to please
every little nuance
streamed into a frieze

Gloating licked the cups
suckling on the blood
basking in this evil
Beelzebub tore,floods

Howling at a globe
demons boring fight
pissing on the air
visions bending bright

Washing for redemption
railing at the breeze
submit unto the universe
a cardinal is freed

A Glutton inside gnawing
clasping with the pain
one deep breathe to freedom
is all that does remain

Burning darkness snapped
peals through hell are heard
lifing off to heaven
a pound of flesh is birthed

-----

In balls of lint and puff
a dreaming place awaits
satin are the spirits
gliding to this place

Illiusions of the mind
fade until they yeild
path's of no restraint
to lay eternal fields

— Seren, Aug 09, 2009

About This Poem

About the Author

Region, Country: Beyond the Black Stump..Australia, AUS

Favorite Poets: Pablo Neruda, P.K.Page, W.H.Auden, to many and various to include them all ...

Critiques

greeneyes

16 years 10 months ago

such a fan

Stories of darkness are my soft spot.This was wonderful I loved every word of it.

Seren

16 years 10 months ago

You firghtened me LOL I was just editing my poem and there was a comment ... This is the first of 7 poems they will take months to write as this one took 2 months on and off to finish and try and get the right feel for it ..... the sins have their own Demons an beelzebub is the Demon for Gluttony .. Sorry rambled a little but anyway I am glad you liked this one its one I have worked really hard on ... and the appreciation is much appreciated LOL >>> love and hugz Jayne x x "We did not change as we grew older; we just became more clearly ourselves. Lynn Hall" ...

raskin

16 years 10 months ago

Interesting

That you mention gluttony, the sin. Not much has been acknowledged about this one. Gluttony isn't just food, its an attitude or entitlement I think you touched on that. A spiritual gluttony, gorging. Very interesting Jayne. raskin

Seren

16 years 10 months ago

Dear Raskin

The seven deadly sins(or cardinal sins) have always fascinated me , I was brought up in a very strict religious house , and was the rebel , there was a time I taught sunday school if anyone in their right mind can believe that , I do have my own beliefs but they are not those I was brought up on ... I am not divining anything with these LOL I am just fascinated by all the different birthings of the sins ...and they dont all just have seven ... theres eight or six depending on what century you look at, I am no expert by any meens I only know what I have found on my wanderings round the net and the local library lol (which isnt a city Library but they do endeavor to cater to my sometimes bizarre requests for books)L .. glad you found this interesting I found it a challenge to write and actually the writing of this one was probably the most fun I have had writing so far :) ... Thanks for the read raskin :) love Jayne x x "We did not change as we grew older; we just became more clearly ourselves. Lynn Hall" ...

raskin

16 years 10 months ago

Looking forward

I look forward to what you come up with. I was the "what are we going to do with her" child. I'm not orthodox in my beliefs and I too taught sunday school. No one else volunteered so there I was but I ended up having fun with the kids. Anyways, I have always found these sins interesting and also the belief in original sin. Makes for interesting conversation. raskin

Seren

16 years 10 months ago

LOL Raskin ...

I think we may have something in common though with me it was more how do we stop her ... I sent everyone mental, I never stopped but I am slowing down,slowly ... I am of the mind each to their own beliefs ... Truely embrace that ... and it does make for interesting conversation lol that I can attest to ... Love and hugz Jayne "We did not change as we grew older; we just became more clearly ourselves. Lynn Hall" ...

mantiscepter

16 years 10 months ago

food for thought:

(It was.) challenged I was, as yoda would say/ as a mind unravels; and takes us all" on a flight into a savory demented swell,of intricate turns peaking our interests. in tiers.I know you held my interest.actually made me hungry . what I would call twisted inertia. Great read!!! Mantiscepter

Seren

16 years 10 months ago

Dear Mantiscepter

Wonderful to see you on my page again ... and I have to say I love what you do with your pictures though , it would be nice to see an undistorted face LOL ... But I always smile :) ... Glad this was food for thought for you lol that was its intention I am waiting for someone to comment that is versed in the sins to, I have interwoven a bit of lore about the sins in this poem lol but noones mentioned them yet ... so glad to see you on my page .. and so good to see you again will be off to read in a while I will stop by your page and see what you have been up to .. love and hugz Jayne x x "We did not change as we grew older; we just became more clearly ourselves. Lynn Hall" ...

leonard daranjo

16 years 10 months ago

Hi Jayne

Extremely written. I enjoyed the pace, the movement, the images intertwined with your words and the overall feel. You definitely have a way with words. Leonard

Seren

16 years 10 months ago

Dear Leonard

First off congratulations to you ... LOL ... cheeky wench arent I lol .... but I am very proud of you right now ... I wrote this one over two months off and on, and put a fair bit of work into it, and then come to the realization that maybe I was overworking it .... soooo I submitted to see how it was doing ... So glad you enjoyed it my friend (hug) psst congrates again :P .... BIG SMILE .... much love and hugz Jayne x x x :D:D:D "We did not change as we grew older; we just became more clearly ourselves. Lynn Hall" ...

Geezer

16 years 10 months ago

Fields to Gluttony....

Or something like that. I get so tired of scrolling up and down to see titles. I will not point out your spelling mistakes, for the are plenty of others who can and I'm sure will, and you usually catch them in your edits. As for being an expert or something on sin, I'm sure that I could qualify, simply for having committed most of them. However, I prefer to forget the worst of them,[ hoping that everyone else will too]. You write a mean piece of darkness, my dear. Not so graphic as I, but some good shit! L & Hugz, Gee.

Seren

16 years 10 months ago

Dear Gee

Not sure which spelling mistakes you meen hun but I am tired they are probably staring me in the face lol ... This started out as a whimsy and I worked on it till I thought it was good enough to submit ... thanks for the read and the comment hun , mean bits of darkness LOL its a mean looking night here you can't see two foot in front of you for the fog lol .... I havent tried to write a gory one yet Gee , but maybe one day ... big hugs and love Jayne x x "We did not change as we grew older; we just became more clearly ourselves. Lynn Hall" ...

Candlewitch

16 years 10 months ago

Dearest Jayne

I bow to you, the queen of the darkness tales! A very powerful write. My favorite lines are: A Glutton inside gnawing clasping with the pain one deep breathe to freedom is all that does remain (did you know that there is a musical group called "The Moody Blues?" Love, Cat

Seren

16 years 10 months ago

Awwww No Cat I think you have that crown my sweet friend lol

I am glad you enjoyed it though I am sorry it was a painful read for you huni big hugz and warm vibes coming your way its 4am I posted my new poem i am going to TRY and sleep ... night night huni love you talk to you soon will pm you when I wake up (hug) Jayne x x Dearest Cat ... better late than never eh ? Hubby has heard of the Moody Blues Cat Sorry I didn't answer this last night I was half asleep lol ... Snake said to tell me some names of songs cause he doesn't remember them but thinks I know who they are LOL ... k does that make sense ???? I hope so ... Its afternoon here and I was just showing snake something and noticed I didn't answer your question last night ... will see you in a few hours if you on and will catch up then ... much love and hugz Jayne x x "We did not change as we grew older; we just became more clearly ourselves. Lynn Hall" ...

lyz

16 years 9 months ago

Dear Seren

My new Fave. Very creative this one.Keep em comin'. Lyz.x

Seren

16 years 9 months ago

Dear Lyz

Its funny I still restrain myself in some writes ... and I am writing one that will shock a few people ... true to form I am true to myself and slowly emerge from my cocoon ... its been a long time coming ... love and hugz Jayne x x "We did not change as we grew older; we just became more clearly ourselves. Lynn Hall" ...