Seren

Jul 27, 2009 ⭐ View statistics (Premium feature)

Breaking Glass

Razor-ed Pain
stroked into might
heaving a scream
throwing respite

Aches to be bleed
wound turning green
mauling a body
who's insides reamed

Soaked into rags
misery Dazzled
break in thought
memories are frazzled

Sockets of agony
ratchets in mind
swirling a tempest
unhitching inside

Spines of fire
gliding above
touching on heaven
to rainbows of Love

— Seren, Jul 27, 2009

About This Poem

About the Author

Region, Country: Beyond the Black Stump..Australia, AUS

Favorite Poets: Pablo Neruda, P.K.Page, W.H.Auden, to many and various to include them all ...

Critiques

Candlewitch

16 years 10 months ago

Wow

At first I thought this poem was about the mental dysfunction known as cutting, because of the first,second and third stanzas. But the last two stanzas are reminiscent of being rescued. If I'm wrong please tell me what it all means. Good title and excellent flow. Love, Cat

Seren

16 years 10 months ago

Cat

I wrote this one a while back , the first four stanzaz are about being in increasing pain, and the last stanza is actually when I get the pain relief It was sort of a hallucination ... but I didnt think it was any good so I left it for a while I havent been writing much lately ...but I am glad you liked this one but then your my best judge ... Much love

Bonitaj

16 years 10 months ago

SOME EXCELLENT IMAGINERY!

Soaked into rags misery Dazzled break in thought memories are frazzled You're so good at these writes Jayne dear! well done Boni

Seren

16 years 10 months ago

Boni

Thanks for the comment this was another one I wrote ages ago, I will be honest I didnt think anyone would like it lol ...hugz glad you liked it ... Love Jayne x x

Baz

16 years 10 months ago

Another WOW!

You said that you did not think anyone would like it, well you were wrong. Someone once said to me, (it may have been you), that it's a poets job to be sensitive and to tell the world, (or words to that effect). Suggestion: Razor edged pain? For me it's more descriptive and powerful. Well done. Barry

Seren

16 years 10 months ago

Barry

It wasnt me but I wish I had said it LOL sounds like something Anna might say, shes a very wise women ... I am so glad you are enjoying my poems ... Now [razored] is going on the edit I had already decided ... And I like your suggestion with think on it and when I edit will definately consider it .. Love and hugs Jayne x x

Geezer

16 years 10 months ago

Breaking Glass

I too thought it might be some form of self-mutilation. When I had read the comments however, I realized I was wrong. I'm not sure anyone can really feel another's pain, no matter how one describes it. I feel like a sissy though, after reading the description of yours. You really came through on that score. Hope you are feeling better. One criticism, I believe you meant [bled instead of bleed]. L & Hugz, Gee.

Seren

16 years 10 months ago

Gee

Yeah It could be construed that way I just had a reread myself and your right ... I just realised anyone in pain could probably find a sentance to resonate with in this poem ... You can see anothers pain, you can taste anothers pain you can assist with anothers pain but you can never feel anothers pain ... That to me is a tragedy, I watched my mother-in-law die in great pain and now that Ive been sick myself I can understand more how it was for she ... I will never forget it as long as I live I cant thank you enough for feeling my words , I will fix bled up in a day or two when I feel up to it , I am ok but very tired atm ... Much love and Hugz Jayne x x

lyz

16 years 9 months ago

Great

Once again I will try to comment. Loved it. I don't know why, but I always read between the lines of any poets words and Know it is a true poet that creates from the heart. I have still to read more of your work, looking forward to it. So far, all I have read has been meaningful and enjoyed. thank you, Lyz. x

Seren

16 years 9 months ago

Dear Lyz

I am so glad you liked this one I dont Always write happy stuff I suffered from depression for a long time and I get the black dog days like everyone though not so much these days ... I hope you dont get lost theres over a hundred of my poems on here now LOL you got reading material for a while hun (hug) thanks for the trip back in time, this ones anicent compared to some of my others ... love Jayne x x We did not change as we grew older; we just became more clearly ourselves. Lynn Hall ...