infinite_dwarf

Jun 08, 2009 ⭐ View statistics (Premium feature)

Warrior (for Nina)

Angered Gods throw down white lightning
leaving the air smelling like weak gasoline
I sit in the pouring rain
with my back against the wall
Desperate for the safety of yonder fortress
The gentle nickering of my snowy stallion
as he trots near
And my thoughts wander:

One of a many beast has been slain
a cursed city revived
(Thou art safe for now, my noble one, but for how long?)
I will take them one by one
and avenge my father's name
My gaze falls to his pendant
once worn proudly at the neck
Now tarnished - its light extinguished as his was
His blood still cries
and I push onwards

I tilt my head to the heavens
and scream my daily vow of vengeance
My words are twisted and distorted
with the howling wind
Carried upwards
until the reverberations echo across distant lands
And all who hear it will know
tremble
and fear my mightiness

— infinite_dwarf, Jun 08, 2009

About This Poem

About the Author

Region, Country: North Carolina, USA, USA

Favorite Poets: E.A. Poe, Lewis Carroll, Charles Bukowski, Michael McClure, Lawrence Ferlenghetti.

Critiques

poewriter58

16 years 12 months ago

Jess

This sounds like a great lead in to a story. I liked the dragon poem as well. maybe this poem can turn into a part of a series Mom

infinite_dwarf

16 years 12 months ago

Thx

If I had more time, I'd try spinning it all into a short story. Not a bad idea. ~Jess K. ----------------------- "So I open my door to my enemies, and ask could we wipe the slate clean? But they tell me to please go fu** myself; you know you just can't win" - Pink Floyd

Quillsvein1

16 years 12 months ago

atmospheric

and somehow picturesque--there is some serious pagan passion in this poem! you go to the realms of fantasy without making it seem ridiculously unreal, something many poets are sadly not able to accomplish. great job! GB

infinite_dwarf

16 years 12 months ago

Thanks, John

Actually, without too much effort, this could be attributed to something very real - Attila. Granted, he wasn't avenging his father (that I know of) but I kind of got that feel after re-reading it. Thank you for your generous comments. GB you too. ~Jess K. ----------------------- "So I open my door to my enemies, and ask could we wipe the slate clean? But they tell me to please go fu** myself; you know you just can't win" - Pink Floyd

Candlewitch

16 years 12 months ago

=)

A thrilling little tale! Loved the imagery and all the new thoughts this poem evoked in me. A job well done! I hope there is more like this one coming! Always, Cat

infinite_dwarf

16 years 12 months ago

= )

Yeah, Nina had requested something more along this vein after Knighthood. Still haven't figured out how to get dragons in there, though I kind of hinted to them in the slain beast. Might try to stretch all this into a short story. Thanks for dropping in. Nice to see two pretty kitties on my page. =~) ~Jess K. ----------------------- "So I open my door to my enemies, and ask could we wipe the slate clean? But they tell me to please go fu** myself; you know you just can't win" - Pink Floyd

Ink Dragon

16 years 12 months ago

Thanks!

Dear Jess, I feel honoured to have such a great medieval piece dedicated to me. And I think Chrys is right: this may turn into a series, maybe try and find a thread to weave all those poems into one huge medieval tapestry. (An epic tale?) Looking forward to more of your medieval stuff, ~Nina

infinite_dwarf

16 years 12 months ago

Not a bad idea

yvw, it took quite a few hours over vacation to think this one up. I might try something a little longer. =~) ~Jess K. ----------------------- "So I open my door to my enemies, and ask could we wipe the slate clean? But they tell me to please go fu** myself; you know you just can't win" - Pink Floyd

iverhyck

16 years 11 months ago

Reply

I enjoyed reading it. But it sounds unfinished. Keep on. Konstantin.

Dalton

16 years 1 month ago

this one is your absolute

this one is your absolute best so far. it brought to mind thoughts of robin hood, or some returning knight home from the crusades. or even sir lancelot of the lake. john x

Dalton

16 years 1 month ago

and fear my mightiness. i am

and fear my mightiness. i am a little bit uncomfortable with this line. in that the father figure of which you speak could be the characters blood father whose death he will avenge. or in the greater sense Our Father, which is God. i see many strains through this work of a character which is a crusader disillusioned with the battle for supremacy in the holy land. to my mind the character needs a sense of piety/or self redemption in the last lines. not merely to balance it out. but to mark him as the troubled saint among vagabonds that so many of the crusaders were. i hope i'm not waffling on too much. and maybe i'm reading in too much to this one. it just needs tweaking i think. it's still one of my favourites of yours. and of all i've read this week. love and well wishes john x