A Home for REVENGE! (Prose, truth written in fiction)

Full of emotions here Eddie. Sadness, fear, anticipation, hope, then; revenge.I loved it~ _____________________________ To write a touching poem, you must gently stir the soul, if it brings forth tears or smiles, then the story was beautifully told. ________Janice Pearce_________

I had to read this several times, on and off while I'm painting my living room. If I understand this correctly, prose and poetry are two different things, but even so, this reads very lyrically, to me. I will make no comment on how close this really is to actual events; all I will say is that you captured this evil more exactly than I care to elaborate on. "At three years old feeling unprotected and already understanding fears." This is extremely powerful my friend. As is the entire work. Respectfully Jim "That which does not kill us makes us stronger" : Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche

sad to think about this kind of thing going on... and yet I know it does... well written piece here Eddie... carried me through to the end and now I want to hear about the monster getting avenged... Richard

Excellent write my friend. Runs the full gammut of emotion. Paralyzing fear, anger, calmness and the desire for revenge. I like how you used a prose form to tell this story. Very well done! Respectfully, Rett: "Next time you think you're perfect, walk on water."

Grabbed me by the short hairs and yanked me right under that table! Your talent is extraordinarily displayed here, my friend! Bravo!

I was there...from another situation and another time but i felt that pain and saw that black light...i finally choose better and descided that forgivness was the only way for me to heal...but i can recall those early feelings of dark joy as i ploted my own brand of revenge... <3 Emarie @~~~~~~~@~~~~~~~@~~~~~~~@~~~~~~~@~~~~~~~@~~~~~~~@~~~~~~~@~~~~~~~@~~~~~~~@~~~~~~~@ 'My prayer is a rapture in blue' - The Ink Spots 'My Prayer' 1939

This is a gruelling story well told,i am just happy that you have forgotten the revenge and move on,i cannot really comment,I can't muster the strenght.Thank you.

Awesome write, sad but true. I was kinda hoping an angel came down, but I know my son's felt this way and they did get their revenge. Sad poem, but reality is what it is. You drew me in and I could not stop reading, the brother under the table and their bond. Think this could be a good book. The first paragraph draws readers in. I would buy it. Patty

with all the thumbs up, and I too want to read what happens to the monster. this is amazing. ps. sorry it's taking me so long to catch up! I haven't forgotten you, really! ~Jess K. ---------------------------------------------------- -"Handle every situation like a dog: if you can't eat it, or screw it, piss on it and walk away!"

what a brick wall of words, sorry, have no idea what you wrote, to stone like,

Why comment?

Sorry I could not resist. Patty

thank you for recommending that I read this piece, and sorry to be catching up with it so late. I've just read a poem about an abusive relationship and remembered that you told me about this one. It is stark and raw, so packed with emotion... not easy to critique... but I'll try anyway. My suggestions: Cowering in a corner tears pouring down his cheeks, watching as his mother is being beaten. At three years old feeling unprotected and already understanding fears. He looks across the room and sees his brother who is hidden under the dinning room table. He is also in a downpour of tears. He wants to go over to his brother under the table but the fear has paralyzed him. He looks into his brothers eyes and sees that it is not fear that makes his brother cry but something he does not recognize. What he sees scares him so he closes his eyes and turns away. He hears something calling to him but he dares not see. Again his name is called in a soothing melancholy way. He slowly turns and looks into the blackness that is his brother’s eyes. Out of that darkness something reaches out and touches his innocent heart. Now through the tears a grin appears upon his face. Slowly the fear evaporates and in its place, in his heart he can hear the laughter of the monster that is now his friend! I am REVENGE!! I am here to vanquish all your fears! The child turns from looking at his brother and looks at the monster who is his father no more but the object of his revenge. The child again hears a voice: In your hands I put REVENGE and with it you will make that MONSTER PAY!!! I haven't changed much, but I feel the rearranging of the lines could add tremendously to this piece's already powerful impact. Yours, ~Nina

Wow, Eddie, this tale/poem really blows me away with its dark poignancy. The Monster, is someone I wouldn't want to meet in a dark alley. A great read. Always, Cat