You could read this

Could expresses optimism - a range of opportunities and options. Should is regret and preaching. Loved this - the rhythm and flow dances beautifully. I wonder if this could be developed into a longer poem? I don't know see what you think. Loved this Jess, I just felt it has the potential to say more. Nice work :-) Kaz It's impossible to smile on the outside without feeling better on the inside.

mild rhyming pattern that gets lost in a gentle message. Thanks for the reminder. I will keeo it in mind when reading other's poems. :) Always, Cat

What fun! (Oh, dear! Oh, dear! I fear ... / an awfully wonderful meter winks so brightly / from your so delightful piece / right here, right here, right here.) All yours, Chuck PS: My mother said that I never should Play with the gypsies in the wood. ---Unknown

I'd like to see this expanded should is not a word that you like yet you instruct your reader that "and neither then SHOULD you just found that amusing should have , would have , can't can't is not in my vocabulary try is should is a command , as in you should hmmm better you might consider could is a great word shows courage , and hope really Jess expand this one it promises to be be enlightening and encouraging and COULD be a a better poem when it gros up be well Chrys

Smiles:) Barbara should lift up eyebrows could encourage new ideas

my opinion, no healthy person shoud respond to the word "should" without at least the margin of hesitance. even healthier people get a tad indignant. this is finely constructed and a smoothly compact rebuke to pomposity. refreshing.

my opinion, no healthy person shoud respond to the word "should" without at least the margin of hesitance. even healthier people get a tad indignant. this is finely constructed and a smoothly compact rebuke to pomposity. refreshing.

Lore and craft pass to the young On rhyming and on rhythmic tongue The purpose under poetry Can be the aid of memory. or Worm and parcel with the lay Turn, then serve the other way ------------ You make your point with straightforward speech that must persist at least a whle in mind because of that rhyme scheme, Jess. The content alone is strong enough to make its point with an attentive listener, but your rhyme scheme draws an inattentive ear to hear. I believe you worry unnecessarily about the rhyme scheme dominating the poem. It's a short piece, and the content of it dominates. Perry

Smiles:) Barbara Words Words Many Words How we view Words affect our attitude How words are use affect personality I didn't realize should affected that way, Now when I use should I immediately delete and use could. Orders drive me crazy especially those with a tone of attitude behind it. Need to change me. Makes for a better person.

Nicely done! You COULD come up with a snazzy title to draw more into this l'il gem right here. :~) ~Lynn (Jess K.) ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ ~ "If guns kill people, then I can blame mis-spelled words on my pencil.." - Larry the Cable Guy ~ "Driver carries less than $20 in remorse..."

I read this piece when it was posted and thought it should be expanded too.. but since then I have noticed how many times that I have to choose my words correctly when giving my opinions and thanks to this short and needing nothing more to be said piece of yours... maybe some of us will get better at it. just wanted to say thanks. Richard

This is a smart poem with smart words used smart. The perspective is interesting and is like a circle with "should/could" running, but you say that "should" is a nasty word that tells you what to do, and you do not take orders, so you finally choose to use "should" by yourself as an order: "neither then should you". Congratulations! Marius

Of course it is! It is smart and honest, carrying your message without being pretentious or condescending. And hey, it rhymes. :O) Best, Ronda

I feel the exact same way about the words...and I like how you phrased it as well:)