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TO WALK BENEATH ASPENS

I always thought I'd go out west
during the early weeks of fall
and roam Rocky Mountains in a quest
for antelope, mule deer, elk and all.

But I must wait 'till school is done
my priorities were clear and set.
There's no hunting under summer's sun.
My time to go was not here yet.

And still I dreamed of aspen's gold
but there was work that must be done
building a business, truth be told
along with marriage and first son.

Oh, there was time but always scattered
never enough for a trip there.
I had to do what really mattered
a life to make and love to share.

Even so, whenever fall turned cold
I'd dream of scattered mountain meadows
outlined by aspen leaves of gold
where I'd walk beneath the mottled shadows.

Things came up as is their way
building a home for sons and wife
all things to be done day to day
as passing time became a life.

Even while hunting southern deer
amid maple, oak and poplar trees
in familiar forests near and dear
I'd dream of aspens quaking in the breeze.

But there was always this or that
until now at last my window's passed.
I'm too lame, too old and way too fat.
Those mountain views will go un-glassed.

I long yet to walk in scattered trees
of straight burnished aspens in the fall
while listening to the distant tease
of a far off elk's high haunting call.

Style / type: 
Structured: Western
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
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Editing stage: 

Comments

Me and punctuations lol. I'll correct those now and think about other ideas.Thanks.............stan

author comment

Stan I walked in the forest with you on this write and will come back for some polishing up for you if you so desire..I loved the imagery of this write and omit some repetitions here and you will have a story poem of you and your life through the Aspen trees...sigh

Mona
xox

all help is appreciated. I think the repetition of aspens and gold is intentional as a recurring longing to some day go out west and walk under the aspens in the fall. Guess skills are shy of being sufficient to convey what i intended............stan

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take your nurse! very funny (I hope). thanks as always for reading and commenting on my drivel.............stan

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every time I write something, I go back and read it. To me it never seems good enough. Of course I'm comparing it to Frost and Longfellow and such. Kind of hard to measure up to their standards, but like a fool I'll just keep trying lol..........stan

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prefer plums stay ungoggled and ungoogled lol. Glad you liked this...............stan

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This is such a good write my friend. I really like the lines

Things always came up as is the way
building a home for sons and wife
all things to be done day to day
as passing time became a life

How true they are, life takes up so much time you hardly have time to enjoy it

You can never pick anyone up if you are busy putting them down

Yes, I now find some of the things I put off for later will now never happen. Thanks for visiting................stan

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You must be tired from all the walking you do in your poetry, I love your walks, because the imagery is always so vivid. Another walk with you through natures wonder.
Stan in your writing you have definitly done it all, so no worries buddy. just keep writing.
Eddie

LIFE ISN'T ABOUT WAITING FOR THE STORM TO PASS
IT'S ABOUT LEARNING HOW TO DANCE IN THE RAIN.
VIVIAN GREENE

Still haven't made it to the mountain west lol. Thank you for the kind comment..............stan

author comment

You took me back to my trip to Denver last year where I got to explore the Rockies in Estes and also down through them to New Mexico..they are a source of inspiration and just magnificent to vist, so much so I want to go back as I feel I only touched a small part of them. I am not qualified to comment or crit a rhyme scheme but it seemed to flow pretty well to me. I enjoyed it very much.

Chez
"The perfect woman perpetrates literature as she does a small sin: as an experiment, in passing, to see if anybody notices it - and to makes sure that somebody does." - Nietzsche

I very vaguely recall them from moving from California to Tennessee when I was 5 yrs. old. At the time we had to stay in the car due to dinosaurs lol.................stan

author comment

That's right, I expect the leaves are starting to turn down your way. Glad you enjoyed and hope you realize by now I'm no judge of my own work. Also hope the round up went well..................stan

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