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beyond a social democracy

I write three sites online
if I wanted I could publish
but I know the limitations
of my style...I have read
the great gifted ones and
they pushed themselves
above and beyond to work
their craft...I am lazy coming
to the machine and tapping
in works off the cuff raw as
they are....Anyone can have
a great intelligence or basic
working intelligence and
be a great poet....Its the
vision..a channeling of
creative fire. A passion
something of magic anyway
that shines...

I was ruthlessly put down
as a child and built up to
the top...the pack nipping
at my ruff and legs and
tail always....when I try
to add something or critique
here or social issues which
I have to a degree that they
do know me as a political
activist its with careful
reservation to a point that
I see its of little value...

I can forget being touchy
about it now...If we were
training fighter pilots or
to be front line fighters
it would be pointless to
be vague......but creativity
will find its way..vauge or
pointed propoganda like
a drill seargant.....

My writing abilities come
from God...This is a gift
and thus is not taxable
I cannot take credit for
this.....When I see people
crafting their works from
scratch I do so with
great admiration because
I see the love and care
and determination in
the long thought process
that goes into their poetry

Society rewards the polished
and talented....we can
see the mosaics of macaroni
on a paper plate done up
in moments....and I can see
the person creating poetry
learning the slalom moves

I remember the jealous snobs
tearing apart my poetry and
artwork growing up
I was a drama princess
then crushed sitting in
a bathroom stall for hours
anxiety to bad then
Not who I am today

look at me wrong and I
would be down and out
for weeks

so I remember those times

what I like about working
the critque here
lately and its importance
is that we all have a voice
like a platoon or unit
we all have our skills
and by commonality
of voice we can figure
out the skills too
and work our poetry thus

like bombers in the war
gunners sometimes could
handle a craft home
if a pilot got shot out

if we are urged to be
flexible and go point with
our creative abilities so
we can be a well rounded
poet then I agree we should
be equally rounded out as
good critiqueing students
which means taking the
critqueing too

The old time poets would gather
in shops homes etc on the road
overlapping their lives addictions
drives etc and honing their craft
would write which would take
forever letters..phone calls etc..
The modern village is much
faster and more democratic
but the messages of expressional
tweaking are still the same

It comes down to effective
communication\
this cathartic place is for people
poets from all backgrounds races
well being etc
social standing etc

I have been through countless treatments
and been with the best hustlers of times
and the out there invidivualists
I know I communicate poorly
but lately through here and people just
keeping on me urging me along
I see at this age that the wisdom I have
and experience can benifit not only
myself but others in the "unit"

And I want to thank all of you for your
support and patience with me while I\
have been contributing here...

I greatly Love and feel for the poets
and mentors and leaders of Neopoet
we are out there with our creative
gift and talent bringing it home here
like scouts....
inteligence gathering
in my time I have seen
the most troubled and basic
see the most profound answers
that the most talent missed

and the most talent assisting
guiding in a non dictator manner
the hardy stock to be leaders
like great sheperds of thought

one can speak well
and be voiceless

I have struggled with this
forever

watched the greats get swallowed\
up in myth when they went mainstream
and the society pack tore them down

I can see where the nipping and jostling
can create a stronger poet pack
but unlike real packs
we can hold back the wild brutality
that exists in the kingdom of animals
as socially a more complex order of
species with artistic talents we can
work our craft together

That is what makes Neopoet a most
special place...THE most special place
and why I BELONG not only to Neopoet
but to you my fellow brother and sister
Poets of the craft

thank You

March 16 2013

Comments

holy crap..

This is so disjointed
im getting worse..
ive had addictions for
years and this is just
the result
Still struggling with it
...

half of this is almost
impossible to read..
because I have stopped
reading books and not
training my mind to flow
in a smooth sequence..
so when I write my Poetry
its even worse...I understand
what you are saying..

Maybe I should just give it
a rest for awhile and try to
get back on track with my life
....I have very poor communication
skills.....its the hardest thing..I give
up so easily..

I apologize for this and shall keep
working at this...Try to slow down
think carefully of what I am saying
and not think so disjointed as much

Thank You for your Patience and
Tolerance...

Esker..

author comment

snap out of it, man.

you are loved here as a poet by many, and I'm sure, admired immensely, even evied, by virtually all, just as you are.

I remember reading a blurb once long ago...."Rod Mckeun....the most understood poet in America"
some might think that high praise. (they are idiots).
the art and academic world knows it to be excoriating.

I. myself, don't understand or appreciate some of the [considered] greats.
They don't care, I don't care
In the past, wheneever my stuff was not understood, or misunderstood, I would always, and only, blame it on my lack of skills as a writer....but then I'd think about "Understood Rod," and the "Not-understood greats" and say ...c'est la vie, thats how it is, some get it, some don't.
Now, as a relatively mature human being, I can say, and do say "I don't care, they don't care" as I continue the quest of becoming....

you are unique. I am madly envious of your style.

Do what you want. It's your path, your life...(I know, you don't need me to tell you that!)

Just know, being widely understood "ain't all that"....ask Rod!

Just me,

Al

or last in the day exhausted head full of
ideas..etc...the grist mill of visual etc etc

I shall keep writing...but ..with a focus
on more connectivity which is good!!
that I can do! and still create..
Thank You!

author comment

school..shunned buy friends...(they were not friends anyway)
sometimes you have to grow into your life when others bloom
into the ordinary.....some have to develop slowly like beautiful
creatures over time with exposure to all for wisdom and wit..

I could not go into a coffee shop if there were more then ten
people at one time...Now I barge in there when its packed
like I own the place...so much misfortune and work to get here
creative spirits....no easy book on this....Kerouc had dean moriarity
as persona figure to lead his books drive engine
on his own he second guessed himself into oblivion thourh his
addictions...

People assume subway has only one kind of bread
I had a fellow take me on by pointing at the list of bread right
there on the glass ..I was looking up at the menu board
It was his little trick at making people feel like shit and I
stayed away and came back to take over the place and haunt
him big time.....how dare he and imagine the poeple going
hungry suffering from anxiety and fears because of his little
trip just because hes a sandwhich jockey.....Needless to say
now I take time to select a sandwich bread stalling the line up
at times and looking him straight and bored and flat say..
whole wheat honey toasted....and he jumps to it.....People can
be replaced...they just think they cant.....people are always going
to wait for others to make a mistake to puff up and hiss like geese
but a swift kick sets them back or tips them over...hold yourground
brace boldy and evenly to give them no cause to say you are a nutcase
or threat and sometimes that bluff puffs out of air and they wither
If they know you will wither they will just out puff you...
Its human nature to be cruel and others to join in...
and its human nature to rally all the pissed of squashed....that is
something too...Its work though to eventually get to a place to be
not afraid ...took many mistakes for me.....

I just realize that I need to concentrate more on what I am saying
thats all Beau.....

I may get away....Im going to go back to painting here...set up a paint
table right to my right...I do acrylics and am not bad at all and sketch
very well.....I just wanted to become a poet because I love them

I think you are very bold and brave and write superb...I dont think you
are as afraid to make mistakes as you think...It took me many years
to write public...I didnt write poetry for years for being critzied and not
that harshly either....Thank You

author comment

ESKER
You are a ‘50s diner
silver with streaks of red
Ketchup and coffee stains
on a tray
Formica scratched and grey
a vinyl stool ripped and torn
band aids and Elmer’s glue
a yellow juke box
playing a ‘50’s song

You brought me to a yard
one step from the back door
where mamma hung the sheets
white wafts of bleach
snapping in the air.

You are a bomber jacket in the rain
A walk down the street
A conversation with the people you meet

You are the songs I used to sing
You are the sigh of every day things
You are a child witt no name
you are the keeper of the flame.

breathed it and loved its myth
People are buying it up
now...its not gone.....its just a
frequency set aside...people are
there listening to the static believing...
When I hold a door or ask of the
weather people dont want to believe
the sincerity believing it false..
I got raised Old school...My dad would
have been ninety something who raised
me and birth dad sixty something

Bleach still gets things clean..I use it all
the time...Ketchup and coffee..two flavours
that bring everything back and still create
new memories for the up and coming..
Elmers glue we use stilll for construction
paper projects the kid and I....Juke boxes
were great!!

I walk the railroad and smell the ties
the deisel and wave to the engineers with
my dogs..the creek alive and smiling with
sunlight...The resin plant all steam and
active..alive providing jobs still...Spoke with
the techie man in his thirties andt old him
I loved their christmas tree light atop the
tanks and pipes..And the put it on a few
weeks before Christmas and left it on
at night until a week after Valnetines day
Love that place....A blue cone of light
a magic bauble in all the steam...

bomer jacket is classic....still wearing mine
with pride!! Thanks Joe.....solid times
those were and there are aspects carried
still that the young ones love too about
the old values and ideals...I try to let them
be....they rib me on the road...People older
were good to me and I remember that...

author comment

solid times
those were and there are aspects carried
still that the young ones love too about
the old values and ideals

That is what you are here to remind us.

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