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She gazes out over the vast expanse of ocean,
Longing for her quiescent, brave love with soulful devotion

Loves everlasting candle with immortal flame,
Living, breathing, only to eternally whisper her true loves’ name

Burning in her heart sempiternal,
Through eyes sacred emotions shone sentimental

As her clinquant tears cascade free-fall,
She prays to God a wish with her all

For his safe return to her loving embrace,
A need no more to dream, to hold his precious face

Her heart and body quickened as love’s sweetest breath caresses her skin,
Whole body shivers, sensual quivers and she turns to drink him in

Tracing her precious, tender lips with his mesmerised touch,
No need for words, he had missed her so much

He pulls her close to reclaim the lips he had once employed all his beauteous charms to gain,
She instantly returns his passion-filled kiss, melting into his arms once again

He drops to his knees in the golden sand,
For his ultimate act of redamancy, he takes his true loves hand

Renews his pledge of undying love, encapsulated within a resplendent diamond band...

She fell to her own to join his there,
Their hearts full of joy, souls lighter than air,

She took his hands and placed them upon her heart,
An unspoken vow made never to part.

Review Request (Intensity): 
I appreciate moderate constructive criticism
Editing stage: 


Thank you for the warm welcome Beau and for your kind appraisal of my work I will be sure to consider your views. Sj: :)xx

author comment

Thank you for the warm welcome Beau and for your kind appraisal of my work I will be sure to consider your views. Sj: :)xx

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I think this one has a very strong opening. I like the image of the woman gazing out to sea eyes to the horizon for her lover to return. It shows promise. If I have any criticism to offer however its beware of using certain hook words, like surreal, or for example paranormal (I know you dudn't use those words above) everyone thinks they know what these words mean, I think its a case of creating your own imagery, painting your pictures, without relying on crutchwords. To present the image without a word that describes what it is, for example a "surreal moment" or a "moment of pathos". I think its a matter of stripping down, clipping the tree of the poem to create something beautiful. I don't know if I've made myself clear.


Firstly a great welcome to Neopoet,
This piece is as Beau says and needs the equality of the lines this would make it shine, as the start was controlled so well then that drift in the middle, then returning to the controlled lines..Bit like me Tops OK then the fat tum and the legs are doing fine, its called age with me LOL.
Have a great time with us here, Yours Ian.T

There are a million reasons to believe in yourself,
So find more reasons to believe in others..

Thanks so much for the constructive comments and warm welcome John and Terry. Will amend the poem as soon as I can. :)xx

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