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Travel Well, Grandpa

Travel Well, Grandpa
Night today covers you,
The stars greet you
And the turbulent winds,
calm down

Oh, Grandpa, son of heaven!
You who left,
You who lived a life of splendor:
You cried, you laughed
You suffered like any other
But you loved like no one ever did.

Oh, Grandpa, my grandfather!
Today the titans of the sky are in mourning,
Today you embark on a new Journey
Turning part of future stories
Future poems
Today your spirit is free
To touch and sail the skies.

Travel Well, dear Grandpa,
Takeoff time!
Cuz' even if your turbines do not turn anymore
Your trail and your legacy will stay
In each one of us.

Style / type: 
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity): 
Please use care (this is a sensitive subject for me, do not critique harshly)
Review Request (Direction): 
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Last few words: 
Dear reader, Let me give a little feedback. This poem is an ode to my Grandpa (R.I.P) who, as you may guessed, was a pilot. I am a huge fan of Walt Whitman so I decided to inspired myself with one of his most famous work: "Oh Captain, My Captain". All best to you all, BenV_Fig
Editing stage: 


theme. A tribute to your Grandpa, shows how much you really cared for him. Only problem I have with this; is when the line says; "Take off time" and then "Even if your turbines do not turn anymore".

I immediately thought about if the engines don't turn anymore... How are you going to take off? It may just be me, but I couldn't help thinking that. Try thinking of a way to have him blasting off on the energy of phantom turbines. Maybe make them echo in your head or imagination. ~ Geezer.


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Dear Benjamin Velasco
I like your poem Grandpa and would like to follow up more of your poems.


My grandfather went on that final journey over 30 years ago. At his eulogy a friend described his as being one of the old southern gentlemen. His may well have been the last generation of story teller as all since have had electronics for entertainment while his depended heavily on conversations to pass the time. I can still hear him and picture him on the porch in his old rocking chair passing his time and tales along to us youngsters in that gravely voice of his...Thank you for tour poem which reminds me so much of a man whose DNA has now been passed to me and onward to My grandchildren.......stan

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