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Leaders Aura
As I tune my mind to your aura vibration,
Thoughts flow between us from deep inside,
Emotions surface in pure loving elation,
As we speak from where our souls reside.
I feel the sorrows that you have endured,
Before you speak their reality in words,
I unlock the beauty in your heart so pure,
And through our love our pains are cured.
We talk of the inspirations of our ambitions,
As we spend the night in each others arms,
Enthralled to complete another spiritual mission,
To save the human race from evil and harm.
As we wake up to the dawn morning light waves,
Wrapped in the affections of our spiritualised desire,
The uniting golden connection of humanity we saved,
In the illuminating light of the pure leader's soul fire.
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neopoet
Thu, 2023-08-24 22:10
Neopoet AI (premium) - 5-29-23 version
The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet's computer artificial intelligence:
This poem presents a rich exploration of emotional and spiritual connection between two individuals. However, there are areas where clarity and structure could be improved.
1. Imagery: The poem uses a variety of metaphysical and spiritual images, such as "aura vibration," "souls reside," and "spiritualised desire." While these images are evocative, they are also abstract and could be difficult for some readers to grasp. Consider grounding these images in more concrete, sensory details to make them more accessible and engaging.
2. Structure: The poem follows a consistent rhyme scheme (ABAB), which provides a sense of rhythm and cohesion. However, the meter of the poem varies, which can disrupt the flow. Consider revising the poem to establish a more consistent meter.
3. Theme: The poem explores themes of love, connection, and spiritual mission. However, the transition from personal connection to a broader mission to "save the human race from evil and harm" is abrupt. Consider developing this transition more gradually to maintain thematic coherence.
4. Language: The poem uses elevated, formal language, which fits its spiritual and metaphysical themes. However, some phrases, such as "the dawn morning light waves" and "the pure leader's soul fire," are somewhat awkward and could be streamlined for clarity.
5. Tone: The poem maintains a consistent tone of reverence and awe throughout. This tone effectively conveys the depth of the speaker's feelings and the importance of their mission. However, the poem could benefit from moments of contrast or tension to add depth and complexity.
In conclusion, this poem has a strong emotional core and explores compelling themes. By refining its imagery, structure, theme, language, and tone, it could become even more powerful and engaging.
Please send feedback about Neo (our computer generated critique system) to https://www.neopoet.com/contact
RoseBlack
Fri, 2023-08-25 16:51
This is beautiful
All of your poems are a beautiful, unique spiritual journey. I love how you incorporate science and facts into every write, while keeping a bit of fantasy as well. Good job!
~RoseBlack~