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A young man from Geelong (seriously a limerick)

There was a young man from Geelong
Who felt like he didn't belong
So off came his shirt
Thrown into the dirt
And killed all the townsfolk with song

Style / type: 
Structured: Western
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Last few words: 
This was Jess' fault - I couldn't help myself! And it is partly true.
Editing stage: 

Comments

Love it.
You've got the form, no probs.

More please.

cheers,
Jess
Neopoet is a workshop. Poets take the time to read and think about your work and offer suggestions.
There is no obligation to make any changes however please acknowledge critique and comments.

I don't like spam! (I kid) Haha, I do like the limerick.. and in Black-town, Rooty Hill Novatel at the moment, the RSL, the pokies, the night has been long...so to speak. Does wonders for composition. Thanks Jess.

Chris Hall - Tasmania

Grossbooted draymen rolled barrels dullthudding out of Prince's stores and bumped them up on the brewery float. On the brewery float bumped dullthudding barrels rolled by grossbooted draymen out of Prince's stores.

author comment

.

W. H. Snow

A poet is a nightingale, who sits in darkness and sings to cheer its own solitude with sweet sounds. Percy Bysshe Shelley

Learn how, teach others.
The NeoPoet Mentor Program
http://www.neopoet.com/mentor/about

You just don't really want to.
If I was your mentor I would strap you to a chair with a 'puter in front of you and make you write dirty limericks and filthy senryu until your fingers bled.

Um... maybe that's why I have so few protegees [grins].

cheers,
Jess
Neopoet is a workshop. Poets take the time to read and think about your work and offer suggestions.
There is no obligation to make any changes however please acknowledge critique and comments.

Warning....... they are addictive.
I can't get the bloody form out of my head. Jx

------------
Remember we are a workshop site.
Don't forget to offer critique on poems you read.

if you get my drift.
The rhyme scheme is always AABBA.
Different meters can be used although should be consistent throughout.
Usually 3 foot, 3 foot, 2 foot, 2 foot, 3 foot.

Remember, Mark, meter is counted in feet, not syllables. There are usually 2 or 3 syllables per foot.

cheers,
Jess
Neopoet is a workshop. Poets take the time to read and think about your work and offer suggestions.
There is no obligation to make any changes however please acknowledge critique and comments.

It was based *very partially* on true events, although I adhusted the gender...look upone NewsCorp's truth if you dare: http://www.geelongadvertiser.com.au/entertainment/gabi-grecko-wanders-na...

Cheers!

Chris.

Chris Hall - Tasmania

Grossbooted draymen rolled barrels dullthudding out of Prince's stores and bumped them up on the brewery float. On the brewery float bumped dullthudding barrels rolled by grossbooted draymen out of Prince's stores.

author comment

In the Xmas card she looks like Dana Scully.

cheers,
Jess
Neopoet is a workshop. Poets take the time to read and think about your work and offer suggestions.
There is no obligation to make any changes however please acknowledge critique and comments.

A good one Chris
.....................

raj (sublime_ocean)

Revisit the limerick we must.

Cheers,

Chris

Chris Hall - Tasmania

Grossbooted draymen rolled barrels dullthudding out of Prince's stores and bumped them up on the brewery float. On the brewery float bumped dullthudding barrels rolled by grossbooted draymen out of Prince's stores.

author comment
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