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THE WRITER ....Sexually explicit

Submitted by zebra on Sun, 2018-11-25 16:03

i carefully typed out
your love,
a cascading serenade

it read
"your anus is candy lemonade"

i flinched upon reading
what i had not written
never could i type such scurrilous lines
i shook my head,
regrouped and very carefully typed out
"your flaxen hair like silk caresses my soul"

it read
"your wet cunt lips plush drools in pools"

deeply perplexed
i did not write such lasciviousness
am i going mad,
i thought
this cant be happening
what will i do
what will my publisher say?

OMG
the advance to pay the rent
i told my self get a hard grip

and very very carefully typed out
"your eyes are azure waves of loves adoration"

there, i said
see all is well
as i watched each letter print out
so very conscientiously
thank gawd i thought,
perfect
barley blinked
and looked down upon my work

only to read

"your mouth a tender trove
my cock for tender licks
for pleasures grace stretched wide
imploring lickity splits
perhaps im a victim
of hot bitches kisses tits
or just some lost demons spasms
writing
Freudian slips"

Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Last few words: 
sexually explicit ...adult
Editing stage: 
Editing - rough draft

Comments

Geezer

Mon, 2018-11-26 10:06

Geezer's picture
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I sometimes have the same problem! Not that I write such lascivious lines; but I may write that "Killer' choked the lead singer and slashed him with his knife; and it might come out as: "Killer" strangled him with the microphone cord and shoved the neck of the electric guitar up his ass and turned it on, making him dance and swivel his hips like "Elvis" There must be some kind of demon or twisted censor that re-writes these things for their own perverted pleasure! How shocking! All in all, a nice rendition of a common problem amongst some authors who are quite unaware of why their work turns out the way it does. ~ Geezer.
.

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zebra

Mon, 2018-11-26 13:15

zebra's picture

Apparently we are possessed We are made up of billions of micro bugs and about only 1% human so science has it. Thanks for the comment and coming bye killer :)

author comment

Race_9togo

Tue, 2018-11-27 00:43

Race_9togo's picture
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Strangely enough, when I write erotic poetry, I invariably end up with something very pornographic, as a rough draft. Then I edit, changing explicitness into erotica and emotions, instead of porn.
Must be a guy thing.

Respectfully, Race

"Laws and Rules don't kill freedom: narrow-minded intolerance does" - Race-9togo

http://www.lulu.com/spotlight/Race_9togo

zebra

Tue, 2018-11-27 05:32

zebra's picture

Implicit in your comment, seems the notion that graphic sexual language should be avoided in poetry, that it is devoid of the erotic, and I guess for good reason since it is relatively rare as its writers mostly prefer devices of obscurations and obfuscations This however may not be true in every other art form.
The culture of literature is much racier, certainly in visual art, contemporary music, photography, cinema and then of course one might ask themselves if all pornography is inherently devoid of art?

If I may push back a bit I don't think its a guy thing I have experienced that women are capable of being free to express their sexuality as graphically as men when they finally evolve passed the Victorian lie or rebel against the idea that sex is profane.

an orgy in hell
her haunches
splitting bones
ridden like a bucking horse

better than a day
human
she thought
in a rapture of shimmering kisses
thundering claws
and
buttery
cocks shoved through her lungs

Having said that, I'm delighted you liked the poem :)
Thank you
Best Z

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