Join the Neopoet online poetry workshop and community to improve as a writer, meet fellow poets, and showcase your work. Sign up, submit your poetry, and get started.

The World on a String

Submitted by eightmenout on Thu, 2016-03-17 00:35

Stop the earth and please
let me off.

There is a fine line
between lunacy and
brilliance;
between sanity, serenity and the
ability
to change the world.

Style / type:

Free verse

Review Request (Intensity):

I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Review Request (Direction):

What did you think of my title?

How was my language use?

Is the internal logic consistent?

Editing stage:

Editing - rough draft

Comments

Geezer

Thu, 2016-03-17 13:01

I'm not...

thinking about logic or consistency, because the title just makes me think of the Yo-Yo trick "Around the World", in which the Yo-Yo spins on the end of the string and you swing it around and around!
I can see how anyone would want to get off from that ride! LOL A fun read, ~ Gee.

There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.

eightmenout

Thu, 2016-03-17 18:00