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The Winter Sky

It rests above the trees
in a soft glory of sleepy hues.
I touch the gray with my eyes,
imagine the softness
of such a cold color -
the sensation of peace
as tall, unclad Tulip trees sway
ever so near,
ever so close
to its unexpected comfort.
I watch the treetops genuflect
in silent homage,
my lashes wet from
falling snow,
my soul free
and content.

***

Style / type: 
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Last few words: 
What a beautiful snowfall!
Editing stage: 
Content level: 
Not Explicit Content

Comments

1.ever so near,
ever so close
or
2.
ever so near,
never as close

I will put some thought into your suggestion!
Thank you for reading and helping me!
L

author comment

basic duty
not to worry
decision lies with
Lave thee

I like the parts best which have clear images (the Tulip tree) or sensory description (wet lashes) and experience the description of your internal states as weaker (I imagine the softness, my soul is free). Is there a way to use those stronger images to convey those internal states instead? I also have trouble visualizing trees rolling back - not sure what I am supposed to be seeing. Nice start to what I could see as being a sensate poem.

Definitely want the internal feelings the beautiful, gray winter sky gave me to be better understood. Also, as I watched the trees sway forward toward the sky, they then seemed to gently "roll" back - but I am not satisfied with that word, either. Hmm...I will work on this one!
Thank you for spending time here and commenting!
Lavender

author comment

It was such a cool moment, watching the snowfall from that sky through the bones of the trees. Thank you for sharing your thoughts - you always lend a generous helping hand! xx
L

author comment

It was a quiet, almost reverent moment watching those trees - "repose" is getting closer to the feeling. The moors during a heavy snow sounds pretty magical - poem-worthy!
Thank you, as always!
L

author comment

agree with Teddy on the use of [lean back] until I went back to read this again and see the context of the sentence and was surprised to find the word genuflect! I think that it is precisely the word you are looking for! I love the way you describe the early morning, which is my favorite part of the day! Good stuff!
~ Geez.
. P.S. The wet lashes is a great touch!

It seems that the days and hours that people
are available for chatroom are staggered and
not a good match for most everyone. How about
if everyone just shows up at the door, whenever
they have a few free minutes?

The gesture of the trees was so simple, yet so profound to the feeling in that moment. I'm happy you like "genuflect" - also thought about using "bow."
Thanks so much, Geezer!
L

author comment

Well done Lavender! Living in a snow-less clime, this is how I could imagine seeing a visit from snow. Liked these lines quite a bit:

imagine the softness
of such a cold color

Michael Anthony

It was quite a wondrous feeling!
Thank you for reading and sharing your thoughts!
L

author comment
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