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Winter Prayer (First Snow)

Cover me
like the scene descending
outside our windows
with a fresh start
with the cold beauty
of pure intent

Blanket me
with sparkling softness
Create me
the world, anew

Give me eyes
like this child's
wide with wonder
seeing
for the first time
this snow

Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Last few words: 
Old poem from last Winter, as not had a chance to write much recently :) oooooo it feels good to be back, love to all xxxx
Editing stage: 

Comments

Thanks Ian, good to see you. 'look inside and feel the young girl shouting with joy' :) best advice I've had in ages lol and you'll be pleased to know she's much louder than she used to be ;) much love to you , Beki xxx

'God turns you from one feeling to another
and teaches by means of opposites,
so that you will have two wings to fly,
not one.' (...Rumi)

author comment

what an excellent visual write. One might put " in " between create and me in line 8 if you think it might help......scribbler

Thanks scribbler :) I can sort of see what the 'in' might bring but I quite like how the line mirrors other lines in the poem and how it gives a little room for interpretation :) Thank you for your input :) much love Beki xxx

'God turns you from one feeling to another
and teaches by means of opposites,
so that you will have two wings to fly,
not one.' (...Rumi)

author comment

The Snow!

Snow thrills young hearts as well as old
You to be a lovely one
Who loves snow?
As many do gold
They don't beauty show
Nor they find pleasure
In natures snow
Come to Canada
And see from my widow
Nothing else but snow
And see no one else walks
On the roads
Except lovers of white gold
Who admire and cherish snow

loved

I am a lover of snow loved :) it brings a certain freshness to the world and as a big kid, with children of my own, it never ceases to provide a huge amount of fun :) much love Beki xxx

'God turns you from one feeling to another
and teaches by means of opposites,
so that you will have two wings to fly,
not one.' (...Rumi)

author comment

Hi Beki, so nice to see you. I'm not so sure about the snow... though there's nothing like that first snow, so pristine, so exhilarating, makes me feel glad to be alive....

Love.

~

Dear Anna, good to see you too :) I do love snow, we're forecast some soon. I wrote this last year just after meeting my husband, the snow just seemed to emphasise the new, fresh slate I was experiencing :) much love Beki xxx

'God turns you from one feeling to another
and teaches by means of opposites,
so that you will have two wings to fly,
not one.' (...Rumi)

author comment

Hello lovely :) was good to chat with you, and I'm here because of you darling, didn't even know neo was relaunching until you said lol. Will swap you some cool thoughts for some warm ones, it's bloody freezing here ;) Got your pm honey and so happy you liked the piece, am humbled it moved you so and over joyed you got it when you needed it :) oodles of love Beki xxxx

'God turns you from one feeling to another
and teaches by means of opposites,
so that you will have two wings to fly,
not one.' (...Rumi)

author comment

Dare I say, inspite of this being an old poem, that I see new eyes watching, for them, a first and brand new winter, in the last stanza?

This is most excellent, there is not a thing I would change...but, you know me, and winter, heehee.

Very very good.

And again, welcome, welcome back.

Respectfully, Jim

"Laws and Rules don't kill freedom: narrow-minded intolerance does" - Race-9togo

http://www.lulu.com/spotlight/Race_9togo

Jim, you may dare, indeed you may ;) and you're right, we have new eyes, new feet to dance with this winter :) I'm glad you like the poem, it seems relevant lol i guess you can keep bringing out seasonal poems every time that season comes around, but you're right about the last stanza it definitely fits now despite being written a year ago :) much love Jim, it's good to be back :) hugs Beki xxx

'God turns you from one feeling to another
and teaches by means of opposites,
so that you will have two wings to fly,
not one.' (...Rumi)

author comment
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