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Why Do I Bother

Submitted by Ian.T on Sat, 2012-08-11 18:59

Why do you criticize my words
When the purpose of my writing, you do not see
I write for all times and all things that be.
You reach out to my words and select.
Take those that belong to you
They are yours, and yours of mine

Yet you will say, they only lasted a short time
Then you did not need them longer
So return their meaning that is fine.
Why did I write them in order just so
That your eyes told your mind
To let them visit your soul.

A purpose I have found in the words of mine
They can reach out to my friends that’s fine
Touch, make them think, then, come back to me.
I have written a string of words for all
Yet just one person did see
This is why I write, it is poetry.

Yours Ian.T

A changed version but length is near the same:-

Why do you criticize my words?
The purpose of my writing, is for you
You reach out to my words, selecting one or two.
Please take those that belong to you.

They are yours, and yours of mine.
Yet you will say, “They only lasted a short time”
Then you did not need them longer
Why did I write them in order just so?
Your eyes told your mind, let them visit your soul.

A purpose I have found, in the words of mine
They can reach out to my friends, that’s fine
Touch, make them think, then, come back to me.
To write a string of words, that just one person did see.
This is why I write, it is called poetry.

Why criticize my words?
I am writing for you
Reach out to my words,
take those that belong to you.
They are yours,

Yet you will say,
“Only lasted a day”
You did not need them longer
I wrote in order just so?
They told your mind,
They visited your soul.

A purpose found,
The words of mine,
Can reach out
My friends, read
Make’s them think,
They, come back to me.
To write words,
One person does see.
This is why I write,
Is it called poetry??.

Yours Ian.T

Style / type: 
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
How does this theme appeal to you?
Last few words: 
I jotted this down after writing an answer to Stan's SOS Blog, Poetic form to me is really lost but I still try. As our words will only be remembered for a short while, even if they have an effect in the Now for a split second then they have in this day and age fulfilled the purpose of the write.. I may have even triggered a thought or poem in a later Bard ??? LOL Take care out there someone does believe in you even if only the childs hand you hold, Yours Ian.T
Editing stage: 
Editing - rough draft

Comments

magics02

Sat, 2012-08-11 21:52

Emotive

Captivation

Prose

Love it

End.

Great work of art - word art

Bless You friend!

Ian.T

Sun, 2012-08-12 04:11

Ian.T's picture
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Thank you little lady, that enhances the pages of Neopoet site with thoughtful comments and the love of writing,
Yours Ian.T

.
There are a million reasons to believe in yourself,
So find more reasons to believe in others..

author comment

judyanne

Sun, 2012-08-12 00:15

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in leaps and bounds ian
this is mostly succinct with a great message
well written and lacking the repetition which is the usual crit i have with your writes

it could still be culled a little (imho)
but i love the theme and message

love judy
xxx

'Each for the joy of the working, and each, in his separate star,
shall draw the Thing as he sees It, for the God of Things as They are.'
(Rudyard Kipling)

judyanne

Sun, 2012-08-12 03:23

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still needs a cull (imho)

why do you criticize?
my words are for you
reach out to them
select one or two

take those that belong
they are yours
yet you will say
they only lasted a short time

then you did not need them longer

why did I write them
in order just so?
your eyes tell your mind
let them visit your soul

a purpose I have found
my words can reach out to my friends
Touch, make them think
then, come back to me
to compose a string

This is why I write,
it is called poetry.

xxx

'Each for the joy of the working, and each, in his separate star,
shall draw the Thing as he sees It, for the God of Things as They are.'
(Rudyard Kipling)

Ian.T

Sun, 2012-08-12 04:09

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With your Beautiful comment, with its words strung out with my original there needs to be no more to say.
If only all our poetry was treated so..This shows that my few words have been read and used..
In the old days here in England the poets and artists use to gather in groups, talking their words showing their skills and out of this we gave the world our Shakespeare, poets of all degrees and most of the world renown artists.
When a few poets gathered one day as you know there was a lady, one of the poets wives, who was there and it was suggested that it was a man's world this writing thing.
Mary Shelley wife of Percy Bysshe Shelley:- In 1816, the couple famously spent a summer with Lord Byron, John William Polidori, and Claire Clairmont near Geneva, Switzerland, where Mary conceived the idea for her novel Frankenstein.
You see the way they use to evolve from their discussion groups..
Your words that add to some of my writing is as they use to work, Neopoet needs this way of being with less of the silly pointed remarks some seem to need.
I thank you for being a great reader, and thoughtful critic of poetry at Neo,
Yours Ian.T

.
There are a million reasons to believe in yourself,
So find more reasons to believe in others..

author comment

loved

Sun, 2012-08-12 09:53

loved's picture

nice middle
and
an excellent end
so why bother who does or who doesn't read or comment
OK commend

loved

Ian.T

Sun, 2012-08-12 12:36

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So the message is that you keep on writing, it matters not how many read as I said it is how many people are affected by your words and the effect you have on them,
Yours Ian.T

Thanks for your read and comment...

.
There are a million reasons to believe in yourself,
So find more reasons to believe in others..

author comment

loved

Thu, 2012-08-16 11:50

loved's picture

hit your bull
on my head always ,,
great wisdom yours
....write and move on
some day some readers will say
who were Ian and loved
anyway???
on poetic pathway
they were astray!
were they?

loved

weirdelf

Thu, 2012-08-16 12:12

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quality, not quantity.
You have slipped back into your old habits of posting the same poem on a blog, as a poem and, most offensively, as a comment on someone else's poem. Shame, shame. It has been said before, including in the Community Guidelines that the blogs are not meant to by-pass the one post a day rule.

And though I do acknowledge a noticeable improvement in some of your work lately, by far the most of them are not worth repeating 3 times or more. You attention-seeking behaviour is childish and embarrassing.

Look up the word dignity. Try and get some.

cheers,
Jess
A new workshop on the most important element of poetry-
'Rhythm and Meter in Poetry'
https://www.neopoet.com/workshop/rhythm-and-meter-poetry

scribbler

Sun, 2012-08-12 10:57

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I knew I was going to piss some people off. But don't you see we are more in agreement than disagreement. You are also willing to move incrementally. Your last stanza in both versions says that being remembered by only a few and only long enough to leave them wanting more is exactly what we aim for. It's pretty much chance that any poem will be remembered for the ages but as long as we persevere we can help in keeping poetry alive. But in my blog I ask for more. I ask for ideas on expanding, if only by a minute amount, the number of people who are aware that poetry is Still being written, not just a thing of the past...........Opps! almost forgot to mention your poem is direct in its message without reading as either prose or being singsong..........stan

Ian.T

Sun, 2012-08-12 12:32

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This was just a skit on poetry in general nothing to do really with your SOS piece.
I had a couple of messages from Mona and had a time reading loads of comments, so I just jotted down this piece.
I rarely edit but in this case Judy had a say and I rewrote it so all the thoughts should be there, with Judy's comments, if you add them all together this is poetry working..
Makes people think which is great, Yours Ian.T
PS:- will think on your request about how to make poetry more popular
and get back to you...

.
There are a million reasons to believe in yourself,
So find more reasons to believe in others..

author comment

Ian.T

Sun, 2012-08-12 12:44

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This was broad based where we all should sit back and realise that each of us are separate beings travelling along the road of words, if you see someone that needs Help send them Help, the words sent can be a multitude of things in writing from just a short note , one word even would help then on up to an Epic all may Help your fellow traveller, the most famous of the writers and their way of writing help will be remembered for many years.
If only we knew what many people needed then we could concentrate on that theme for a while.
The spoken word and the written word has a few more centuries to go yet, Yours Ian.T

.
There are a million reasons to believe in yourself,
So find more reasons to believe in others..

author comment

weirdelf

Thu, 2012-08-16 01:24

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your growing craft is showing.

The difference between this and your works that receive little feedback is that they focus too much on your spiritual content without engaging the reader and don't use your knowledge of concision and meter to make them readable and engaging. "Ruthless elimination of the inessential"!

You've got to make them, if not "easier to read" but use your new found skills, and developing skill in pithyness concision.

cheers,
Jess
A new workshop on the most important element of poetry-
'Rhythm and Meter in Poetry'
https://www.neopoet.com/workshop/rhythm-and-meter-poetry

Ian.T

Thu, 2012-08-16 04:05

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Thank you so much, for giving me at least a pointer to where I am going wrong with my output.
I will try to lose the decoration of the pieces, and use less to say more.
I know what you mean, and I have in the past used too many words, to get a point over..I have tried your style a couple of times and find it challenging.
Maybe my word knowledge is to blame, where I need to describe things in smaller words and the piece seem to become longer..
See now I am over talking the point lol..
Thanks, friend, I note your words, Yours Ian.T

.
There are a million reasons to believe in yourself,
So find more reasons to believe in others..

author comment

weirdelf

Thu, 2012-08-16 03:43

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that was my critique. He writes poetic replies and seldom gives constructive feedback.

I am honoured by the error though.

cheers,
Jess
A new workshop on the most important element of poetry-
'Rhythm and Meter in Poetry'
https://www.neopoet.com/workshop/rhythm-and-meter-poetry

Ian.T

Thu, 2012-08-16 04:08

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It was that damn new picture you have on your profile twix you and the real Steve both being in the dark well I'll ask Sparrow lol,
Yours Ian.T

Stupid to make yourself look like a Father Xmas that dyes his hair dark,
Yours Sparrow lol

.
There are a million reasons to believe in yourself,
So find more reasons to believe in others..

author comment

weirdelf

Thu, 2012-08-16 04:30

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look at it attitude. My more recent puckless, shaved with short hair, looked like a retired accountant to me, I could not abide it!

cheers,
Jess
A new workshop on the most important element of poetry-
'Rhythm and Meter in Poetry'
https://www.neopoet.com/workshop/rhythm-and-meter-poetry

Ian.T

Thu, 2012-08-16 11:15

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Beam me up Scotty LOL, still loves you...

.
There are a million reasons to believe in yourself,
So find more reasons to believe in others..

author comment

Esker

Thu, 2012-08-16 18:39

Esker's picture

helper dwarves albinos
for their night vision
and the long black winters
beneath bewitching aurora

Ian! I like all of the verions you
have shown
incredible work both in your
adaptation of working styles
and form that are not your
comfort zone

In your dedication to the
comment flow of this site
and putting up your work
and asking for feedback
and scrutiny

published poets know all
about the scrutiny
(Me Im just too lazy)

christmas poems in moleskin

"reach out to my words
they belong for you"

I like the bible and I liked shakespeare
and that dude Milton
and rap people

and Ma Carter (wildwood flower)

Ian.T

Fri, 2012-08-17 03:37

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Your words portray your ways in this world,
that this world may have strewn things in your way
that many would shrink from,
where you have surmounted the tasks
given to you at each turn, is a sight of your true Spirit.
The Wolf is a Spirit as the Great Bear and they are good.
Your works are a standard on Neopoet site.
A place for others to strive for
in use of words and the understanding
of the smallest thing to the greatest.
Thank you for all the reads you have done
of my work and the understanding of the same.
As we journey on to that finality
We will remember all those that we met.
Great Wolf Spirit will be remembered
You know the rest
as I think that your ways
are of the old in the silent ways.
Take care and Thanks again for your visit.
Yours Ian.T

.
There are a million reasons to believe in yourself,
So find more reasons to believe in others..

author comment
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