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Why Did I Love You [August Contest]
It all began in the chemistry class
seated on benches in columns and rows
like elements in Mendeleev's periodic table
each of us with unique numbers and properties
mass, weight, affinity....
I glanced around, zeroing on you
slim, vibrant, magnetic, charming demeanor
when our eyes met I sensed an instant affinity
that's when the latent youthful energy
translated into a kinetic drive
The chemistry worked its magic
some X factor was catalyzing an effervescent reaction
exciting our energy fields,
ionic bonds turning us into an aromatic compound
looking pretty,crystalline, pink and volatile
While gazing at each other
you read my quizzical expression; questioning
"what's this mesmeric phenomenon"
then smiled and whispered "It's Love, My Love"
Style / type:
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity):
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing stage:
Contest:
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Comments
Rula
Mon, 2018-08-06 06:54
Raj
this reads flawless and effortless despite all the big words . :)
The lady is a winner and sure you are. I hope the poem speaks well to the judge so as to be the third party winner.
Thumbs up!
❤❤❤❤❤❤
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raj
Mon, 2018-08-06 14:12
Appreciate your time Rula in
Appreciate your time Rula in reading this one. People often talk about some chemistry which is at work which gets the two lovers hooked up on love...i chose that as a theme ...i tried to use minimum of chemistry jargon to stay connected with the theme and simplify it for non science readers to also connect with it....good to know you didn't stumble in spite of it...
there is a risk that the judge may not be well versed with chemistry terminology....but then in matters releted to love one has to take a risk isn't it? lol..
looking forward to your contest poem..
..................................................................
raj (sublime_ocean)
author commentlovedly
Mon, 2018-08-06 13:19
just so beautifully put across raj
now I know why we all have/had lovers
But I am also thinking reading yours
do or will I stand a chance in
lovers poetic romance
COMPETISHUN .
Only one minor suggestion if u do not mind The first letter of the poem ought to have a Cap
ur wish AL THE BEST AS RULA SAYS
raj
Mon, 2018-08-06 14:16
Thanks Lovedly
for reading and making suggestion about capitalization. As you can see I have implemented it. As mentioned in my response to the comment of Rula there is a risk factor in matters related to love which holds good for the contest poem too...so I suggest you go for it and feeling good about it in itself is a winning feeling...
..........................................................................
raj (sublime_ocean)
author commentlovedly
Mon, 2018-08-06 15:48
thanks raj sub lime
I have a desire to recall
all my 3 FIRST loves
so as I am making up my mind and also aiming at a ''hat trick''
I have posted a RESERVE.
All humans are electrically magnetic and mechanically chemical
the brain has synapses
which produce chemicals
and the arm is lifted by production of lactic acid about the mid elbows
you have already captured the most essential
now let my eyes search
the eyes still fathom-lessly sunk inside my eyes