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Who I am

by day,
your body a silhouette
dancing along the walls.
it reminds you of existence
but it is only to be
vanquished into the darkness
threatened by the starlight.

Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Last few words: 
shortest poem ever.
Editing stage: 

Comments

great observations, I don't seem to think of these things as I write. I just go with what is in my head so it is all very rough. But your perspective makes sense! Thank you so much for taking the time to read and comment. You can see the things I simply overlooked.
-star.

author comment

great observations, I don't seem to think of these things as I write. I just go with what is in my head so it is all very rough. But your perspective makes sense! Thank you so much for taking the time to read and comment. You can see the things I simply overlooked.
-star.

author comment

great observations, I don't seem to think of these things as I write. I just go with what is in my head so it is all very rough. But your perspective makes sense! Thank you so much for taking the time to read and comment. You can see the things I simply overlooked.
-star.

author comment

great observations, I don't seem to think of these things as I write. I just go with what is in my head so it is all very rough. But your perspective makes sense! Thank you so much for taking the time to read and comment. You can see the things I simply overlooked.
-star.

author comment

You know, I read about everything you write but it's so different from my style that I never am left with much to say. So I'll just say hello lol.............stan

not convinced it's a poem as such, but for me, a
sort of quirky, kinda pretty, take on our shadow

i enjoyed it

cheers
p

I have nothing to add, except perhaps the overall effect is self-indulgent. Now don't get cranky and call me names! I don't get offended but I do get cranky back. It's just my take on it.

cheers,
Jess
Neopoet Directors

by Mr Wolf....

there are days when I feel this
a car horn honks and I jump far
and others when nothing much reachs me
so intent on plans...on business of living
point a to point b

then at evenings end when all are asleep
the restless dogs want their legs stretched
their lungs filled with sky
the smells of passing journeys

and I stare up
beneath the immensity of the world
the speck beneath its shine
feeling as translucent as a ghost

forgetting my reality
for the myth

(I read much Joseph Cambell)

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