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White noise

I have super hearing, you know?
They called it “Auditory processing disorder”
I can hear conversation from tables away
snippets of people’s lives
secrets and stories

I can hear cutlery falling at work
The lonely crone in the corner humming
The chatter and the scraping
Of chairs on worn floors

The grinding sound of ceramic against teaspoons
Shouting from the kitchen
Canes activating the automatic door
Even my own breath; thick with a lingering cold.

Maybe I could hear a pin drop in the room-
If said room was empty
Of chatter and dulcet tones
Maybe If the lights weren’t old enough to buzz,
And the pin was giant and fell on a metal plate.

See the problem is that
even though I can hear everything clear, unmuffled;
Everything is the same volume.
I can hear these conversations accompanied by the shutting of a door,
A wasp against the window.

The water from the fountain outside,
Clunking from the dishwasher,
The taps of impatient children;
A symphony of white noise.
Tapping, Scrapes and swallows.

Struggling to decipher lips
TAP BUZZ COUGH SCRAPE
Water dripping from table 2
"Can you get the…"
Indiscernible noise.

Style / type: 
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Last few words: 
I've recently been diagnosed with APD and wanted to write about it :) x
Editing stage: 

Comments

A great imaginary write but maybe you can hear better than most.
The imagery was really good I expect some of the learned poets will talk about the form of this piece but that is good, I can see this as a great poem,
Yours Bampy, xxx

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I aimed the first verse to be sarcastic and then to be explained through the 4th as my hearing is actually awful XD Thanks you and love you too :) x

Not all those who wander are lost - JR Tolkien

- Tyjana :)

author comment

I am forgetting about form, and just loving the work! You've painted a rich scene with each and every sound. If this is a true story of your auditory-problems, I have a deep and abiding sympathy for your struggles. I suffer from Tinnitus and the constant ringing, ticking and various other noises makes some voices very hard to discern because they mask certain tones. Your title is apt, the theme, one I'm sure that some will sympathize with and some will marvel at and it flows well from beginning to end. Hope my voice doesn't get lost in the background noise. Nice work! ~ Gee.
.

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Thank you so much for your lovely comment :) ! I did exaggerate a bit but I do hear everything at the same volume which gets very annoying and makes it hard to follow conversations. I'm glad you felt it to be relatable!

Not all those who wander are lost - JR Tolkien

- Tyjana :)

author comment

Held my attention all the way through. I have very good hearing, but not super hearing like you write about.
Not sure if it's a blessing or a curse. Probably the latter.
Couple of lines I really liked
Even my own breath; thick with a lingering cold.
and
A symphony of white noise.
You do mention white noise twice, which I wouldn't, it loses some effect, but that's a personal thing.
Great poem. Jx

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I'm really happy to hear that you liked it! I agree with the repetition which I must have missed on my re-read , I've now changed the first one to 'dulcet tones' thank you x

Not all those who wander are lost - JR Tolkien

- Tyjana :)

author comment

I like dulcet tones
Am about to message you about a workshop that's coming up. Jx

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Remember we are a workshop site.
Don't forget to offer critique on poems you read.

I really like ideas of super hearing for a poem. One can imagine the deafening effect if all the noise around us was so amplified.I just wish the poem lead me to some kind of conclusion, some "moral" or poetic rhetoric to what is the effect of all this on you, on the truth of the world we live in.
I wasn't sure about hearing things at the same volume, though, not sure how that added to the idea. Also unsure about the stating "the problem is", just start with "Even though..."
I might consider having some play with some the conversations you are able to overhear... must be interesting to be able to spy in.
Also not sure about using "you know" in the first line. i would drop the first line totally and start with the second. You could throw in the words "super hearing" in various places of the poem to reinforce the theme.
I think you're on to a unique idea.

Eumolpus
I'd rather learn from one bird how to sing
than teach ten thousand stars how not to dance
ee cummings

Hello! I was just looking through my old poems and realized I hadn't replied to your comment! I referred to my Auditory processing disorder as a superpower sarcastically! I find it really hard to block out background noise hence why I talked about everything being the same volume! Though I think superhearing itself would be a cool thing to base a poem on!

Not all those who wander are lost - JR Tolkien

- Tyjana :)

author comment

The whole truth

THERE REALLY is no imagery in this as far as I can share my experience
When I went before a Medical Board
the ear specialist was wonder struck he spoke and even as the distance widened I replied before he ended
fed up incredibly he said loudly what did I say this time
nothing sir you were perhaps rubbing something with some thing
blast me he said you are a wonder how could you know he was massaging the rear of a paper with pencil that was about a few decades ago now I can't hear a damn Hi lovedly
o damn your ego now you don't want to hear me
I hardly heard her abuse me

age counts I am stone deaf except to birds shrieking in the wilderness hearing aids have no effect no damn doc can none yell nor tell

But if you have composed by imagination then well done young one

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