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WHISPERS

Whispering through tall pine trees
in winter as the air blows cold
or among poplars tall and bold
soft spoken winds as puddles freeze

Whispers pushing southing cloud
in spring time as the leaves all sprout
when bull frogs burp and peepers shout
murmur in rain but not too loud

Whispers through the evening hours
in summer time as all life sings
from whippoorwills to insect wings
soft shushing after summer showers

Whisper through the autumn air
as squirrels chatter and flocks call
during gentle slow leaf fall
subdued soft sounds everywhere

Whisper to me late at night
when ink won't flow nor lines appear
lean close and then tell me my dear
that morning will make all things right

Style / type: 
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Editing stage: 

Comments

Another fine write I really enjoyed the pace of this one, I cant offer anything constructive for this piece

Kudos

love JC x

("Always and Forever") - (Never lose a holy curiosity.-Albert Einstein)

Guess I need to start leaving at least some typos for you to mention lol. I'm pleased you liked this and thanks for dropping by. I expect the weather's turning cold down there so tell Snake to keep you warm...............stan

author comment

I am not a particularly observant naturalist, so I liked where this piece took me. I can see how you've attempted to link the theme to the all to human attribute of "whispering"... What disappointed me somewhat, was the last line. Either too cliched or too juvenile... Not sure which, but I felt you could've ended with something a little stronger. Just my opinion.
Regards

Bonitaj

I appreciate you taking the time to drop by and also your honesty. I'm always going back and tweeking even some of my old stuff so I'll keep your input in mind when I edit this ......................stan

author comment

too many whisperers I see
like whispering Roses...

each paragraph does
take over whispering

let's whisper in low whispers
let only one

all others ought to disappear..
who is that one

who does now whisper!
can you hear the soft whisperer....

loved

You think this has too mant whispers Now, you should have seen the first handwritten version lol. But I think I probably Will prune a few more in edit...............stan

author comment

Does "whippoopwill" qualify or were you making a logistical statement? I know from "poop" and it can be everywhere... in my stalls... in my mind.
As to whispers... I disagree with my eminent colleague. Not only is it something of a linch pin to the poem, but in my mind there can never be too much whispering.

W. H. Snow

A poet is a nightingale, who sits in darkness and sings to cheer its own solitude with sweet sounds. Percy Bysshe Shelley

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You never heard of whipoopwills? They are the subspecies of whipoorwill which has evolved in the D.C. area. It looks and sounds just like the regular bird except the mating cry comes out it's ass (just as the dominant specie in D.C. ) lmao. Seriously though, I appreciate the eagle eye..............stan

author comment

As the daytime ends where the sun touches another's tomorrow,
keep us with the vision of your world,
with those eyes that could show a world,
that the beauty is always just within view.
Even the ebony of the night
will have its proclaimed stars,
to breath a glow of vastness to the tired Spirit..
It is so late and no time to write in rhyme,
or put some prose together.
I go to watch the lights that form in the eyes,
when the darkness comes.
Loved the write young Stan,
and the eyes that see,
Yours Ian.T

.
There are a million reasons to believe in yourself,
So find more reasons to believe in others..

I've always heard that if one wants to be heard in a crowd it's better to whisper than shout. Hence this scribble. Appreciate the visit.................stan

author comment
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