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When the earth is gone

Submitted by Shyanne18 on Sun, 2016-03-20 19:43

When The Earth Is Gone.

I heard a sad, sad song
All the trees had gone.
The air so thick,
Birds were getting sick.
Blackness and muck in our waters.
What will we leave our sons and daughters?
I will miss the buzzing of the bees,
The day we stop talking with the trees.
Wars over unheard gods,
What will be our odds?
Will the wolves still howl at the moon?
Will the earth die far too soon?
We pollute our soil!
We burn harmful oil!
We kill and conquer,
For what? Honor?
One day everything will be gone!
Because today I heard a sad, sad song.

Review Request (Intensity): 
I appreciate moderate constructive criticism
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
How does this theme appeal to you?
Editing stage: 
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Comments

Sparrow

Mon, 2016-03-21 12:20

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Loved the write..
There in the quiet of the days the Earth healed itself,
Gone were the humans controlled by greed,
Earth was reborn into a beauty of natural selection,
No fear that a gun would change the state
No fear of pollution that crept and killed
Just this quiet peace, can you see the rain,
It washed away the dirt and made the Earth whole again,

Have a lovely day out there, if only there was one person that could change all things, but lucky for this beautiful planet, there are no persons left,
Yours as always, Ian..

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Unconditional love to you all.
"Learn to love yourself first"
Yours as always, Ian.T, Sparrow, and Yenti

Shyanne18

Wed, 2016-03-23 22:18

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You get into poetry so much you are able to almost write a new poem from another writer I like that process

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Sparrow

Thu, 2016-03-24 05:25

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Poetry is given to me from where ever and it has always been there in the beauty of all things.
I have been writing for over fifty nine years now that I have a record of,
My only regret is not having the schooling that should have taught me Classical Poetry, or for that matter any poetry, as I left school at 15 and a bit..
I use to write for people in various places and always find it easy to write, I hope you will have the time to learn the correct ways to write it is a blessing to many.
A lot of my work is on:- yenti.co.uk A site my son gave me, also spiritual works are there that are given freely to me from my friends, the Children, and their teachers, but that is another story lol,
Take care and know we are here for you,
Yours, Ian

.
Give critique to help keep Neopoet great.
Unconditional love to you all.
"Learn to love yourself first"
Yours as always, Ian.T, Sparrow, and Yenti

Shyanne18

Fri, 2016-03-25 23:28

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I think poetry comes from the heart read it study it in your own way you don't need school to express your heart Ian you write beautifully.

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alidzain

Wed, 2016-03-23 06:05

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wow! You really know how to rhyme. I envy that because I keep struggling at it.

Alid

Shyanne18

Wed, 2016-03-23 22:19

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I was just called cliché for it though... it all part of the learning experience.

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raj

Wed, 2016-03-23 16:12

Very appealing poem which is thought provoking and succinct in the context of what is happening in our world...expresses your concerns which are spot on and worthy of notice...and ofcourse you have managed to maintain a good rhyme sequence too...

Regards,

raj (sublime_ocean)

Shyanne18

Wed, 2016-03-23 22:20

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Thank you very much for the read.

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Rula

Sat, 2016-03-26 11:07

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I love this one shayanne.
This is quiet mature.

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Poetry is when an emotion has found its thought and the thought has found words
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Shyanne18

Sat, 2016-03-26 21:45

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It's important to know what we are leaving behind it may be nothing. Only one earth.

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Shyanne18

Sat, 2016-03-26 21:45

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It's important to know what we are leaving behind it may be nothing. Only one earth.

The Unknown Poet

Make a donation we can't stay without poets like you.

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