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What's life? (August contest)

Submitted by Simon on Wed, 2022-08-10 10:32

The journey to unknown
the beginning and the end
a gaze towards eternity
it's a race of success
the good and bad sequence
a chance of redemption
the light eliminating darkness

Life is a path-way to cross over
it's a teacher of all kinds
"wisdom and knowledge"
life is but a dream
it's a two sides of a coin
it changes inevitable
the green breath on the universe
the images of the creator
It's the likeness for all

life is but mystery
which one can't Analyse
neither understands
it's wonderfully sheen
is everything but simplicity
life is loyalty and honesty
life is deferent to each other
but life to me means love and peace
for life is power from above
and life is but a gamble.

Style / type: 
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Editing stage: 
Editing - rough draft
Contest: 
What Life Means To Me Contest
Content level: 
Not Explicit Content

Comments

Jackweb

Wed, 2022-08-10 14:10

Jackweb's picture

Your poem title sets the tone. The rhetorical question is asked when the speaker already knows the answer and is not expecting or needing any information from the listener/s.
You have deliberately defined what life means to you. I subscribed in your belief that life is "...

Life is a path-way to cross over
it's a teacher of all kinds
"wisdom and knowledge"
life is but a dream
it's a two sides of a coin
it changes inevitable
the green breath on the universe
the images of the creator
the likeness from and all

life is but mystery
which one can't Analyse
neither understands
it's wonderfully sheen
is everything but simplicity
life is loyalty and honesty
life is deferent to each other
but life to me means love and peace
for life is power from above
and life is but a gamble
an excellent idea, fresh and inventive. 

An excellent idea, fresh and inventive. 
.

"By virtue of creativity, my literary genre is poetry".

~Jackweb

Simon

Thu, 2022-08-11 07:56

Simon's picture

Life really is incredible and only one thing that makes me love life the most is writing,I only pointed out my side of life thank you so much I appreciate it

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