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What I Wish For You

What I Wish For You

Do you know what I mean?
More than money or gold.
I wish you happiness and joy
Success and your health back.
I will try to love you in the way you deserve.

Keep those brown eyes shining.
A genius,artist, musician, poet and photographer.
You keep people entertained and keep their lives from being mundane

You are a participant in many communities.
Especially in the poets websites.
Having worked your butt off for them.
Also have managed to write three books.
This adds to your success.

As all the badges, ribbons and other prizes do.
Being one of the most creative people I know.
You are a star in my sky, a twinkle in my eye.
Don't ever change . You are the best.

Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Editing stage: 

Comments

Wow! You joined nearly six months ago and this is your first poem.
You are either wisely paranoid or overly cautious [smiles]

Oh dear, this looks like a homage to a particular man who is a foundation of this site, an extraordinarily gifted poet and as mad as a cut snake.

I am more interested in your obvious gifts and what you might write for our delectation and however we can assist you in finding your best self as a poet. You clearly have talent, please give us more of yourself.

i am as mad, if not madder than him,
"Blessed are the cracked for they let in the light"
But it is you we want to get right,
Not his pheronyms.
.
.

cheers,
Jess, Neopoet Directors
Neopoet is a workshop. Poets take the time to read and think about your work and offer suggestions.
There is no obligation to make any changes however please acknowledge critique and comments.

Thank you for your inspiring comments. Sure you may call me Pat. I hope to be doing more writing in the future. Thanks for the encouragement.

B9Pat

author comment

Thank you for your wonderful comments

B9Pat

author comment

Welcome to Neo! We hope that you will get what you need from us and that you will flourish as a poet. I only just came to your beginning here and was as surprised as Jess that you haven't posted before his! Keep the work coming and join our workshops. I see that you have made Honorable Mention for the July contest. Keeping entering and I'm sure that you will win one. ~ Geezer.
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Please acknowledge critique and comments.
They are a vital part of our community!
Critique or comment today!

I thank you for your comments. I am not very prolific. I like to read them more than write them. But occasionally I will write some thing s down. Glad you liked it.

author comment
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