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The Way I see It... [March Contest]

The way I see it, you can't go wrong
It's like drinking beer and eating chips
Or maybe it's wine, and wearing a thong
Being filled with gas and letting one rip

Looking at the world, with champagne glasses
Being straight arrow or crooked, bent
Follow your heart, or the middle masses
Be a Superman or a wimpy Clark Kent

Stare at the world with an evil eye
Smiling, love all and everyone
Eat raw fish, ice cream, pizza-pie
Tell them you're finished before you are done

Paint your house blue and shocking pink
Put stars on your ceilings and watch them glow
Let the dishes pile up in the kitchen-sink
Be lazy as hell, go play in the snow

The last words are caution, look out for yourself
Be independent, go your own damned way
Don't be like a hermit, jump off from the shelf
See the difference, and don't look away

Whatever floats your boat or your canoe
Like sailing the river or the salty sea
I'll support your right to do what you do
But if it goes wrong, just don't blame me

Style / type: 
Structured: Western
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Editing stage: 
Content level: 
Not Explicit Content

Comments

As I read it over again, I see that there are places where the scansion is not in keeping with the previous lines, so I will make a few adjustments, and I also forgot to place it in the monthly contest! I've always been a fan of looking at things from outside the box. As to meeting your husband; after suggesting that you be lazy, let the dishes pile up and go play in the snow; maybe you ought to read that last stanza again?
~ Geez.
.

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author comment

Hi, Geezer!
Bravo to this! What is it my granddaughters say - YOLO! The last stanza is a gem, as is the entire poem, really. Good luck with the contest!
Thank you!
L

Where's your entry to the monthly contest?
~ Geez.
.

Comments and critique are vital to this site!
Even if you just say: I liked this story or your spelling
of a word is wrong, take the time to write a line or two
and comment. Your fellow poets will thank you!
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author comment

On the way soon! :)
L

Being in a crowd and one rips
lol
Great one Gee.
Best of luck,

THE MARK
.
If you take the time to read a poem then take the time to let the author know you were there. Study it and form an opinion as well, even if it means going back to it more than once. That is basic critique, what Neopoet is all about.

Where's your entry?
~ Geez.
.

Comments and critique are vital to this site!
Even if you just say: I liked this story or your spelling
of a word is wrong, take the time to write a line or two
and comment. Your fellow poets will thank you!
.

author comment

Here ya go:
https://www.neopoet.com/workshop/poems/when-i-am-hurt#new
First time I ever did that ..
Later,

THE MARK
.
If you take the time to read a poem then take the time to let the author know you were there. Study it and form an opinion as well, even if it means going back to it more than once. That is basic critique, what Neopoet is all about.

Nice rhyme

Bathe yourself with poetry and let the world go to pieces.

Where is your entry to the contest?
~ Geez.
.

Comments and critique are vital to this site!
Even if you just say: I liked this story or your spelling
of a word is wrong, take the time to write a line or two
and comment. Your fellow poets will thank you!
.

author comment

I mean, all your stuff's good, but this one's a little more. Had me grinning the whole time. Thx for that.

-..- -..- -..- -..- -..- -..-
Xtremely busy Xponentially becoming Xcellently at Xactly _____

Let me suggest a few for you. I get the sense of what you like now and I think that you might like some of my favorites.
" And He Smiled" Hunting Dinner". There's more but I'll give you some more when I see you've read these.~ Geez.
.

Comments and critique are vital to this site!
Even if you just say: I liked this story or your spelling
of a word is wrong, take the time to write a line or two
and comment. Your fellow poets will thank you!
.

author comment

I'll sure check those out 1st - though I'm gonna end up reading all your stuff on this site. Thalassa made me promise I would since she doesn't have time. Seems to think I'm a good substitute. Not sure I agree.
Not that I don't want to read all your stuff! Got nothing better t'do, so . . .
Thx 'gain.

-..- -..- -..- -..- -..- -..-
Xtremely busy Xponentially becoming Xcellently at Xactly _____

some of my earliest stuff not so great. I have learned a lot from the poets here in the twelve or thirteen years that I have been here. Some of the people that I really learned from are now passed away or retired from Neo. but I still learn something new all the time. I have been a member of Neo. since before "The Crash" when we lost lots of work, because the servers we were supposed to be backed up on weren't properly maintained or some such thing. Dear Thalassa, she's a gem. I hope that whatever she's working on, leaves her enough time to keep in touch. I am e-mailing her a message tonight right after I finish this message to you. Thanks for your great comments and I hope that we can persuade you to write and enter our contests and workshops. Maybe even try our Random Title Challenges. It's a great way to learn about ways to make your imagination grow. Thanks again, ~ Geez.
.

Comments and critique are vital to this site!
Even if you just say: I liked this story or your spelling
of a word is wrong, take the time to write a line or two
and comment. Your fellow poets will thank you!
.

author comment
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