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View from the lens

Looking rather like
A rotationally challenged pair
Of the reddest veined breasts

I gaze back into my rendered
Retinas, which are healthy
And good, I guess, since childhood

Deigned them only a short
Focal length, shorter than my
Memory of anatomy

As retinas go. Blindingly obvious
The parallels with trees and roots
Or things with roots that see

Faintly tracing back a path
Through blood to something core
And bright as a disk

A moon, perhaps? A shrouded Sun
Lost in the retinue fog, a swirling
Orange mass, a corona ring

Of visions past, flash – illuminated
For a nanosecond in the dark universe
Of the optometrists chair

He, the beholder of my eye
lies, and tells me to thicken
my rims with paper thin hope

I grope through the darkness
for there, somewhere is
bifocal light

Style / type: 
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity): 
I appreciate moderate constructive criticism
Last few words: 
Recently got one of those retinal photographs done as part of an eye test. Ruminated on ageing for a while, and this was the result. Not sure if/how it requires an ending? Anyway, comments welcome.
Editing stage: 


I had one of those done a few years ago and they sent for me wanting me to have it done again, as I waited for the results.
They saw what they thought was a black spot on the retina.
It turned out to be on the lens of the camera or what ever they used to take the pic, lol
A very descriptive write and was good, Yours Ian.T.

There are a million reasons to believe in yourself,
So find more reasons to believe in others..

A concerted effort will be made to use the tools and add revisions etc. Glad you liked the imagery, my optometrist is the absolute spitting image of a younger Phillip Larkin, I swear! Of course that retina is all important for every image isn't it? Glad your 'black spot' was a false alarm! Inspiration for another verse perhaps?



Chris Hall - Tasmania

Grossbooted draymen rolled barrels dullthudding out of Prince's stores and bumped them up on the brewery float. On the brewery float bumped dullthudding barrels rolled by grossbooted draymen out of Prince's stores.

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