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The Impaler came a calling
in wee hours of a moonless night
while alley cats were caterwauling.
His appearance gave me a small fright.

His garb was not a cape or such
instead he wore a light blue leisure suit
and a high school ring inscribed in Dutch
And, strangely , just a single boot.

I was transfixed by bloodshot eyes
"I just vant your blood." he said
which came as no great surprise
coming from someone undead.

His corny line broke gaze's spell
so I laughed and smiled at him
then told him that just might be swell.
This turn made his eyes turn dim.

I said you'll have to get in line
you're not alone wanting my blood,
many others seek to dine.
They think my pulse propels a flood.

Uncle Sam sent me a note today
saying I'd made a small mistake.
They don't intend to go away,
yet one more blood sucker to slake.

Then there's the insurance company,
my deductible is going up;
just another leech you see
impatiently waiting to sup.

And don't forget the good ol' bank
whose fees keep climbing every day.
I don't even know who I should thank
when that parasite decides to play.

Gas stations and grocery stores,
they both want a taste or two.
They suck on me like aging whores
until I'm almost turning blue.

So I hate to tell you, Vlad
by the time these other vamps are through
the news will likely make you sad :
there is no blood now left for you.

Style / type: 
Structured: Western
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Last few words: 
As close to a vampire poem as I can force myself to write lolo
Editing stage: 


stanza 3 line 2 should 'cant' be 'want' instead?

good one. here's mine

Where's your fangs, my sweet?
Are they spoilt, rotten by time?
such a poor end to meet,
to be more worthless than a dime


It's Supposed to be "vant your blood" to add a Rumanian accent. Didn't notice autocorrect had changed it to cant lol. Like your quick shorty but hope I've not opened the door to a flood of vampire poems.....stan

author comment

Something to get your teeth into, though I wonder if Vlad was a vampire
I always thought he had the market in sharp sticks, him be in paler than most, don't think he drank blood, Some Russian freak that was out of his mind.
Good to see you branching out its fun as with Digit taking on the world and my other walk on the dark side, Please don't stay there they is after your soul, A thing the government cant touch.
I suppose the headlines will be "A tax on Spirits" not the prohibition type,
Take care out there have a great day,
Yours as always,
Ian & the Spirit Children..
PS:- Vlad III, Prince of Wallachia (1431–1476/77), was a member of the House of Drăculești, a branch of the House of Basarab, also known, using his patronymic, as (Vlad) or Drăculea (Vlad) Dracula.
Dracula was a name adopted by Bramm Stoker for his Vampires at that time he wanted someone evil to base his books on so the house of "Drăculești" that Vlad belonged to fitted the bill..

Give critique to help keep Neopoet great.
Unconditional love to you all.
"Learn to love yourself first"
Yours as always, Ian.T, Sparrow, and Yenti

There have been so many vampire poems written and shows made about how romantic it must be to be a vampire that I was sick of this poem while writing it. I mean, "romantic"? What could be romantic about living by having to kill others and drink their blood?

as to the historical perspective the impaler got his nick name due to his fondness for impaling enemies. A truly horrible way to die in whack a slender pole in inserted in the anus and carefully treaded lengthwise through the abdomen and chest cavity taking care to miss any organ which would bring about a quick death. People were known to live for days after being impaled.Yet Vlad was a hero to his people due to being so vicious that he'd drive off invaders and terrorize them so in doing it that they didn't come back. His family name translates into Dragon......stan

author comment

the romantic part is how they protect their Iovers and how they are Iovey-dovey Iike any other coupIes in their own way. Something about fantasy but I prefer the monstrous and supehero type better.


or rather a toll, just a measure swanking on the bedeviled modicums.. of your blood.but what will a man pay to taste his own blood, that's prose for a milieu when a vamp has but only loneliness of heart, i start to see his blood sucking as - euthanized

I knew a vampire once that drank himself to death, Yours Ian..

Give critique to help keep Neopoet great.
Unconditional love to you all.
"Learn to love yourself first"
Yours as always, Ian.T, Sparrow, and Yenti

to speculate on that which doesn't exist isn't it? But it makes sense to me that if there were vampires and they lived on blood then they'd likely be at least as brutal as a starving person and if it were Human blood needed, nobody (friend or lover) would be safe around a starving vampire......stan

author comment

I have to disagree. Vampires exist, just not in the way we think. To me, the Hillary in your poem is one. Vampires in real life are people in the seats of power who are manipulative, conniving, cunning and merciless individuals who won't care for anyone other than themselves. They don't even care that there are people who have shed blood and sweat to make the country great, they will corrupt its image with their own actions. They are scummbags. The malays called them '' cekik darah', loosely translated in english as 'bloodsuckers.' Of course, some angry mothers do call their children that but not in the same meaning referred for the adult vampires. lol


sense you are correct. Indeed the original Vlad Dracula was one such. He was bloodthirsty to such an extreme extent that he is the basis for the vampire story. There was also a countess (whose name escapes me) who actually bathed herself in the blood of virgins thinking it would extend her life......sounds like the IRS lol

author comment

Is the lack of rhyme sequence in Stanza 2 deliberate?

did you mean "they" instead of The in line 3 Stanza 9?

raj (sublime_ocean)

result of not paying attention lol. I'll try to get it sorted out......stan

author comment

just fun.

W. H. Snow

A poet is a nightingale, who sits in darkness and sings to cheer its own solitude with sweet sounds. Percy Bysshe Shelley

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it was meant to be. But even so nobody lets me get away with being sloppy lol......stan

author comment
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