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The Valley (Second Poem Ever) August Competition

"The Valley" "Where we played as children"

Down through this wonderful valley
of the never setting sun
Where time stands at the height of summer,
in its full run
Trees adorned in their lustrous green coats,
move with me
Move to the gentle breezes,
playing hide come seek all day
Here there and everywhere,
in prancing leaves we play.
From the lake, which is now a silver disc,
Made beautiful by the suns rays,
leaping across the surface
Appearing to catch the silver of the fish,
scattering it far and wide.
To the river that relieves the lake,
to the stream that feeds
One dancing bowl of light.

Drift with the river as it flows slowly through,
fields and trees.
Meander on to where the hills blend with the sky,
lost in the distance.
Place of perfect rest,
unique in its sights and sounds
As time unchanged,
so the valley of dreams, held forever.

Oh sweet repose from life’s troubles,
here to wander as the breeze
Across through and over,
just sighing with the trees.

To move,
but wonder of all to move nothing.
As the sun, always there to see,
caressing the things it sees.


Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
Is the internal logic consistent?
Last few words: 
I wrote this when I was 15 it was a place we use to play. I have looked with Google to find it but they have filled it all in and so it is just one of my memories..
Editing stage: 


Many thanks for your visit, my education during those days was a minimum, the year I left school they brought in those GCE's or something.
By that time I had joined the RAF as a Boy Entrant, there they taught us Wireless as it was in those days (1957) I think I attained a science B from them somewhere but since those day I have just jotted down words for myself and many people I have met in a variety of places.
I still have the original Exercise book with my writing in, may I add a lot of it is just mutterings of a teenager lol..
But here on Neopoet was the first time I had learned of poetic form, and have to thank all involved..
I still write as it arrives on the keys now.
Anyway you take care and once again thanks for your visit, Yours as always Ian..

Words can build a nation

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