Join the Neopoet online poetry workshop and community to improve as a writer, meet fellow poets, and showcase your work. Sign up, submit your poetry, and get started.

Unilateral stage - collateral damage

Now t'is the season
For political lesion
Moral depletion

Style / type: 
Structured: Eastern
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Last few words: 
Wordless
Editing stage: 

Comments

Tell me if you would rather I not comment when I think your pieces don't work.
Being so concise they are pretty much yes or no.

cheers,
Jess
A new incentive for critique, description at
https://www.neopoet.com/community/news/proposal-encouraging-critiquescom...
discussion at
https://www.neopoet.com/forum/23390

Your comments are always welcome and appreciated. I do not expect everyone to understand let alone like my Rhykus and other poetic offerings. So I expect and accept both positive and negative comments, however critical as long as the comments are honest and direct.

If you will permit me a little rant, IMHO, there is too much avoidance, sidestepping and tiptoeing around a variety of issues, especially when certain groups, genders, creeds, religions, credos, lobbies etc, etc are concerned. There needs to be one universal scale and rating for everyone without having to itemize and delineate each viewpoint based on the origin, the target, the audience and the ripple effect.
(Note: the views expressed above are solely those of the ranter and do not represent Neopoet, its members, its administration, its viewers, general public (both deceased and living) or any other sentient being(s).)

author comment

and helps me accept/understand the work better.

May I suggest that your works need not always stand alone, lonely, bearing solitarily the burden of meaning?

Have you ever read my haiku/senryu series, "Haikookas"?
https://www.neopoet.com/node/2669

cheers,
Jess
A new incentive for critique, description at
https://www.neopoet.com/community/news/proposal-encouraging-critiquescom...
discussion at
https://www.neopoet.com/forum/23390

I read your suggested poem and the following lines in your poem were the best (IMHO):

lone kookaburra
laughs without hesitation
his own audience

Since your entry is seasonal, I wanted to share my seasonal entry posted a while back (listed on page 2 in my work entries)

Fo(u)r The Seasons:
---------------------------

Sprouting shoots of Spring
Nature’s bounty emerging
Anew beginning

Summer’s wind flowing
Celestial star’s orb glowing
Flowers are blooming

Drying leaves curling
Fall’s colours encompassing
Autumn abounding

Nipping air chilling
Grounded snow flakes whitening
Winter descending

Submitted by OriginalRhyku on Fri, 2016-10-07 07:47</p>

author comment
(c) Neopoet.com. No copyright is claimed by Neopoet to original member content.