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Undisciplined
I want my food
I want my internet service
I want to be first in line
traffic to get out of my way
and my pizza delivered on time
I want the best
phone
television
sneakers
vehicle with the best
sound system
I want my politician to win
my thoughts and beliefs to be right
and my way of living to be left undisturbed
I want to be able to trample my footprints
through fields of tender flowers
just to manifest that I was there
***
Style / type:
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity):
I appreciate moderate constructive criticism
Editing stage:
Content level:
Not Explicit Content
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Author information
Region & Country
United States
Favorite Poets
I tend to read Ted Kooser, Jim Harrison, Paul Simon, Robert Frost. I like minimalist poetry, and poems reflecting on nature and Mother Earth.
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Comments
Michael Anthony
Mon, 2022-09-26 10:48
Excellent look into the
Excellent look into the culture of me, me, me - well done L! The 4th line in first stanza seems like it would benefit from an "and" in front of traffic. Maybe like this:
and traffic to get out of my way
Deliver my pizza on time!
Really enjoyed this - thank you!
Best
Michael Anthony
Lavender
Mon, 2022-09-26 15:03
Hello, Michael,
It seems we fall into 4 "me/my" categories: myself, my stuff, my way of living, and my space on this earth. It's good to take inventory from time to time. I will think about your generous suggestion. Thank you very much for reading and sharing your thoughts!
L
author commentlovedly
Mon, 2022-09-26 12:19
Beautiful FREE VERSE
All for you
wow
Lavender
Mon, 2022-09-26 15:05
Hello, Lovedly,
I'm glad you liked this one. It's a bit negative in nature with its sarcasm.
Thank you very much for reading!
L
author commentlovedly
Mon, 2022-09-26 20:03
I LOVE when truth spills
and Lav minuscule speak like thee
keep going you have found
a profound
space already
all neo knows it
Geezer
Mon, 2022-09-26 12:28
Nothing much to add...
This satirical offering is a great piece to show how the "Me Generation" has gained control of the world. Well done! ~ Geezer.
.
There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.
Lavender
Mon, 2022-09-26 15:12
Hi, Geezer,
I appreciate you taking time to read. I'm hoping there are not quite as many "me" types out there as my poem suggests.
Thank you!
L
author commentAdministrative ...
Mon, 2022-09-26 17:41
Yes indeed
It's about growing up to me. I want is a very juvenile perhaps even toddler stage of life, before we realize that we can't until we earn it.
Very nice reading lavender.
Mark
Neopoet Administrative Council
Lavender
Mon, 2022-09-26 19:10
Thank you, Mark!
Always appreciate your thoughts!
L
author commentRoseBlack
Mon, 2022-09-26 18:42
Me Society
A good depiction of what society has become. No one seems to want to work and earn anymore and those of us who do work and earn, can't get a leg up. Things are definitely backwards. Good job.
.
~RoseBlack~
Lavender
Mon, 2022-09-26 19:16
Hello Rose!
Thank you for dropping in and reading!
L
author commentRosewood Apothecary
Tue, 2022-09-27 06:25
I’m not different
But it doesn’t make me feel terribly good about myself sometimes. I love your writing style!
Tim
Lavender
Tue, 2022-09-27 11:37
Hello, Tim,
Trying to keep myself in check with this one. Thank you so much!
L
author comment