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A true love is beyond feelings .

A genuine love is beyond feelings.
Ardent lovers are entirely weaklings,
only weaklings adhere to this concept,
pretext not to love, their hearts are inept.

Feelings feign love beyond estimation,
in a flicker, go into extinction.
Just as fickle as the course of a wind,
feelings change leaving acrid pains behind.

The pains left behind hover like a ghoul,
eat deep into the fabrics of your soul,
impress on your face a deep furrow,
as you swim, wade through the sea of sorrow.

You try to rekindle the embers left,
to see if they could once burn aloft.
Needless, feelings are pseudo burning desires,
gratified , they smolder without any fires.

Heartbroken, lonely with no one to turn to,
the pains soar with no clue whatever to do,
if it is someone you loved to the core,
the pains hurt deeper, even more.

The ones you treasure like golds and silvers,
know how to cut your heart into slivers.
Feelings are snares with alluring facades,
into which love from a naive heart cascades.

Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Editing stage: 

Comments

Oh deep true love, that merchandising franchise!
You name it, you say it, few would.
There is sexuality and affection,
there is intimacy and friendship
there are varying degrees of all.
But deep, true, emotional love forever-
you named it- beyond feelings, leaving everyone feeling inadequate.
Onya.

cheers,
Jess
A new incentive for critique, description at
https://www.neopoet.com/community/news/proposal-encouraging-critiquescom...
discussion at
https://www.neopoet.com/forum/23390

An awesome review Weirdelf. Thank you so much I appreciate.

author comment

I going to do a reading now, and I'm going to do it in a very ironic sense, you can take it or reject it without any censure from me.
A TRUE LOVE IS BEYOND FEELINGS by Marvel Godwyn
https://soundcloud.com/neopoet/a-true-love-is-beyond-feelings-by-marvel-...
With your permission I will post it to our Neopoet Facebook site.
If you have suggestions for re-recording I would be happy to do it.
Ths is an impressive poem, worth the effort.

cheers,
Jess
A new incentive for critique, description at
https://www.neopoet.com/community/news/proposal-encouraging-critiquescom...
discussion at
https://www.neopoet.com/forum/23390

Yes, Weirdelf you have my permission and thank you once again, I appreciate.

author comment

Okay sir

author comment

really good

Thank you so much Lovedly, I appreciate your comment.

author comment

inspired me just composed it
read if you may

Hi Lovedly, I feel so happy and humbled to know my humble poetry inspired you to write "All Love Is"
I indeed enjoyed reading it.

author comment

than words could express, Marvel.
The title, the logic, they work. It begins and ends with conviction, and the theme - I could read forever on this. The rhymes grabbed me, too.
True love is not like an ardent fire as 'weaklings' perceive it - it is a summer breeze that comes from stillness, from seeing, from acceptance, from knowing - not from burning. But love and passion, when they go hand in hand - that is a miracle. Love is beyond feeling but when coupled with flesh-and-blood feeling it lights you entire.
One observation - I notice there are no spaces after your commas, and they should be there. Such small details can turn off a reader - especially someone sensible to ... well, sensing them!

Thank you for this piece of work.

 

Love,
Steph

... to remember what it felt like to have my being set alight
beneath the moon when I was full and I was dancing with the night
when I could see beyond my sight
when I could see beyond my sight

A beautiful review Steph.ania.I so much appreciate this and thanks for your view.

author comment
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