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Trilliums

Trilliums
How bright those first sunny days of Spring
When the showers of March cease pouring down
In the last few weeks of April, as birds sing
And flit from tree to tree – the soft sweet sound
Of returning light to warm a world chilled
By the dank cold of receding Winter.
Like a young girl bedecked with every frill,
Concealed in every dark recess hinter
During that time when Night is long and Day
Passes by with scarce a flickering sigh,
Nature brings forth her brightest garb as May
Nears and April wanes and Summer draws nigh.

In nooks where through the year they lay concealed,
Beneath the woodland duff, Trilliums bloom –
A brief burst of brightness boldly revealed
In Spring-bright woodlands when all the dank gloom
Is momentarilly dispelled: Sunlight
Scattered everywhere wakens each flower
Waiting beneath the soil; the dreary night
Of slumbering Winter banished! – This bower
Of blossoms that herald the Summer's return
Are but a fleeting moment in the year,
A sweet moment for which I yearly yearn
As Winter fades and sun-bright Spring draws near.

Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Last few words: 
Banged this one off this morning over a pot of tea before heading off to work. The idea for it has been fermenting in my head all week though, since the sunny weather started. (It is about to end tomorrow, sadly.) Managed to get down into the forest and seek out those trilliums alluded to in the poem as well. (Trillium caudatum if anyone is interested, not quite as large as Trillium grandifloras, but still large and showy, nonetheless.)
Editing stage: 

Comments

but I can't find anything in this I haven't seen or read better before. Even that particularly Britishly shy innuendo is a bit tacky.

I am not normally so negative, I try to find something to like.

Maybe what I found is why it has been on the 'Undiscovered Poems' list for 9 months.

Can you think of anything that could bring some freshness and originality to it?

cheers,
Jess
A new workshop on the most important element of poetry-
'Rhythm and Meter in Poetry'
https://www.neopoet.com/workshop/rhythm-and-meter-poetry

You're entitled to your opinion. Perhaps you read more poetry than I do, which is why none of it seems fresh to you.

author comment

But also yes I find a lot of freshness.

The important question is why it was on the undiscovered list for 9 months. That is not my opinion, that is all of Neopoet.

It is a question you need to ask yourself.

cheers,
Jess
A new workshop on the most important element of poetry-
'Rhythm and Meter in Poetry'
https://www.neopoet.com/workshop/rhythm-and-meter-poetry

He was right! Poem is cliched such that I can barely bring myself to read it nowadays, sigh …

author comment
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