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Transient love

Love! It is like the cloud that melts
in the rays of the hot sun;
it is like the blossom that opens
at dawn only to wither at nightfall.

Love! It is the harmony that pleasure's rush
sends through your heart then dies;
it is like the flame of the firefly
transient and doomed to fade.

Style / type: 
Free verse
Editing stage: 
Content level: 
Not Explicit Content

Comments

like the blossom
that opens
at dawn

I disagree with your assessment of love, you do have a good piece of work here. Welcome to Neopoet. ~ Geezer.
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It seems that the days and hours that people
are available for chatroom are staggered and
not a good match for most everyone. How about
if everyone just shows up at the door, whenever
they have a few free minutes?

Hello, Midge,
You've sized up the extreme highs and lows of love in a brief, but strong poem. I like that you've used an exclamation point after the first "Love!" I was immediately curious. I did notice that you used "dies" and "die" close together in the same stanza. Perhaps find another word for one of them? Welcome!
Thank you!
Lavender

Thanks to all for nice comments & esp. to Lavender for a good point which i have acted on.

author comment

Very nice edit!
L

Very nice!
~ Geezer.
.

It seems that the days and hours that people
are available for chatroom are staggered and
not a good match for most everyone. How about
if everyone just shows up at the door, whenever
they have a few free minutes?

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