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The Tragic Tale

The Tragic Tale of the Former Evil Ruler
of Children's Nursery Rhymes

This old man, he played two -
had a wife, but couldn't keep her.
He ran off with another girl,
but he was mean, and he was coarse and unrefined.
That's the way the money goes.

He had ten thousand men
and doesn't know where to find them,
they've all gone away...
see how they run, see how they run -
all the king's horses and all the king's men,
and they all go marching down.

One misty, moisty morning
he called for his pipe, and he called for his bowl,
but all that he could see, see, see -
the cupboard was bare.

This is the man, all tattered and torn,
one shoe off, and one shoe on.
He found a crooked sixpence
all covered in snow
on a cold and frosty morning.
He bumped his head and went to bed,
and winter's now come fairly.

***

Style / type: 
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Last few words: 
Joining in the February "wild with no rules" fun! Tried to scratch a poem from single lines of a bunch of children's nursery rhymes. If you read it while holding your left hand over your left eye, and close your right eye completely, it may make a bit of sense. (Also, if I am violating any publishing rights, please let me know and I will delete ASAP.)
Editing stage: 
Content level: 
Not Explicit Content

Comments

Had been putting this together for awhile and the fun February contest seemed to be the right home for it. However, wondering if it infringes on publishing rights and will gladly remove it.
Thank you for reading, Teddy!
L

author comment

Not a word of it is mine - I just glued it together...
L

author comment

oh, your poem is soooooo delicious, and if I had small children (heaven forbid).I would treat them to a read of your witty poem. It is also a treat for over-the-hill fellows, like me. Please, do not worry about copy right issues that have long expired. Jerry/van

A bit of fun. Many, many nursery rhymes are dark in nature - this one seems to have fallen into that rank, too. Poor fellow was he...
Thank you for reading!
L

author comment

Just so Old King Cole doesn't come after me.
L

author comment

Thanks for your help with this! Studied very little about nursery rhymes, but realize there is usually a buried story or meaning to most, sometimes pretty dark. Now, off to find out when and why Humpty became an egg!
Thank you, Alan!
L

author comment

Too funny, Teddy. I am pulling this one out of the contest. It was a lot of fun, but simply - they are not my own words. Will put the fingers to the keys and enter something else soon!
Thanks, Teddy.
L

author comment

I'm having fun, too, but after thinking through, I'd rather enter something truly my own.
xxx

author comment

delete it! You may enter something else, but I truly think that this is a great poem! Remember, there is virtually nothing new under the sun, and to have made something new from something old, is recycling! LoL I used to tell my kids and my niece and nephews, Uncle Guy's screwed up bedtime tales and used the three little pigs and others for the basis of them. [I got kicked out of the bedtime tales for having them laugh too much and not being ready to go to sleep!] I don't think that there are any copyrights to any of those stories. Rest easy. Laughed already this morning! Great stuff! ~ Geez.
.

Comments and critique are vital to this site!
Even if you just say: I liked this story or your spelling
of a word is wrong, take the time to write a line or two
and comment. Your fellow poets will thank you!
.

Uncle Guy's bedtime stories - I laugh just imagining them! This was a fun piece to put together, but when considering using someone else's language, I just don't feel at ease. All good, and I thank you for sharing your thoughts and comments with this one!
L

author comment

funny to bad you missed our fractured fairy tales room this would have fit right in

Chrys

check out our chat room open to all 24/7

I agree, it does sound very interesting!

raffy

Fractured Fairy Tales - sounds VERY interesting! :)
Thank you for reading!
Take care,
L

author comment

Lavender,

You've put these lines in quite an order. I love what you've done here!

raffy

It was fun, and I've learned a thing or two along the way! I think at some point I'm going to give it another try to create something a little cheerier!
Thank you!
Lavender

author comment

An exquisite piece, and VERY cleverly put together. I understand your desire to write something completely original, so I shan't reiterate the opinions of so many above who believe this is more than worth entering into the contest (though I may agree with them heartily ;) ). But I will agree with Geez and say PLEASE DO NOT DELETE! The wicked delight of reading this poem is simply to delicious for us on NeoPoet to lose!
Thank you so much for sharing.
~

"To reveal art and conceal the artist is art's true aim." Oscar Wilde

I appreciate your comments - very much! The piece was a lot of fun to put together!
Thank you!
L

author comment
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