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TOO LATE

Phone call, entirely unexpected
by tone of voice it's not a joke
toward hospital I am directed
mother's had another stroke

Throw on my shoes and rouse my wife
jump in the car, away we speed
will this be the one to end her life ?
an answer now is what I need

It's late, no lack of parking space
so we park right at the front
up the steps to door we race
to find it's not the door we want

Redirected to the back
entrance marked " emergency "
time and patience running slack
unwelcome sense of urgency

Brother and his wife beat us there
the news isn't good
we don't say much just sit and stare
and wait for doctor like we should

At last he comes " Go see her now "
" There's nothing we can do ."
despair and worry crease my brow
realizing that her time is through

I go quietly into the room
ventilator's gasp, monitor's beep
she's already gone to join her groom
I close my eyes, try not to weep

I say farewell but I'm too late
mom's shell is here but she is gone
on the journey that is all our fate
she's gone yet life must still go on

Style / type: 
Structured: Western
Review Request (Intensity): 
I appreciate moderate constructive criticism
Editing stage: 

Comments

I like the rhythm.
I like the title.
You have captured this situation with precision, with grief, and with the eye of experience.

I do feel that the fifth stanza could do with a re-write, particularly the first two lines of it.
Apart from this, a very tight and well-written piece.

Respectfully, Jim

"Laws and Rules don't kill freedom: narrow-minded intolerance does" - Race-9togo

http://www.lulu.com/spotlight/Race_9togo

Writing the truth is easier than making things up. As always I will revisit and edit before too long, thanks for the suggestion..........scribbler

author comment

Stan this piece here brang me near to tears. I am sorry for your loss and know Mother knows you tried to get there as fast as you could. This is a very touching poem of yours and my heart goes out to you and Susan.

Blessings to you friend
Mona

thank you Mona but this is now far enough in past to have lost its sting. Thanks for coming by.......stan

author comment

Thank you for coming by and reading Shirley........stan

author comment

Those calls are dreaded by us all.

The rhyming is tight, and you delivered to
the reader your nervousness for the situation
from the first verse ...

thanks for sharing

Although most outlive their parents, it's still a shock when they leave........stan

author comment

Rhyme and rhythm - spot on.

My parents are still alive - now in there 80s and my father-in-law is living with us and he is 86.

I'm dreading the day they die! Having said that my father-in-law wakes up every day in pain and has spent the last 7ish years sitting in a soft comfy chair - due to athritis ( in his ribs, back, hands, feet + he also has crumbling bones in his back + other uncomfortable problems ) His one kidney is in faliure, his heart is weak, he has diabeties, gout, dementia, thyroid problems.

A stroke can be a living death.

There are some things that are worse than death! Amazingly he still manages a cheeky smile.

Thank you for sharing Stan. My panick is get to come.

Love Mand xxxxxxx

the great fear in my life is alzheimers. To completely lose one's identy must be terrible. Thanks for dropping by .....stan

author comment
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