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A Toast

Ah, playful is the gay coquette
who flits between the trees,
which stand around like marionettes
all swaying by degrees.

She romps along, red curls unbound
and flapping in the breeze,
her wrap lies low enfolded round
a figure made to squeeze

Let’s raise a glass to this dear lass
who never meant to tease,
or shake our heads at those instead
that try too hard to please.

Editing stage: 

Comments

you certainly are a smooth writer
this flows like a ...warm jar of honey...like a lottery winners money...like a Stan Getz solo...like I wish I could!

nice observations and commentary on the issue spoken of in the poem.

I think this is a really good piece of work...It works for me!

sincerely,

Al

I am glad it works for you because it is a joy to share my poetic efforts with others, even though I don't anguish like a poet but am a mere rhymer.

Keith Logan
the happy chappy
https://www.neopoet.com/community-guidelines

author comment

If I do say so myself, rhyme is a hard thing to do with any consistency. It does take some skill to keep a poem, [Yes, we are poets] smooth and readable. Hmmmp! And if you don't anguish at least a little, you often can't find the word that fits just so. This is a smooth poem that delivers. ~ Gee.

There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.

Yes, I admit often it is difficult to find a word to fit but rather than anguish over the drive to find that word, I simply rephrase what led up to that point and continue from there.

Keith Logan
the happy chappy
https://www.neopoet.com/community-guidelines

author comment

you can't always find the word that fits and must do as you say; rephrase and go on. However, there is always a little bit of [disconcertion may be the right word], until the line is satisfactorily completed.
~ Gee.

There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.

Completed.
Second of your poems. Starting to see a pattern that excites me. A poet. A new poet for me to read. A good one and I'm just at the beginning. There is a fair amount left for me to read.
Like I said... exciting.

W. H. Snow

A poet is a nightingale, who sits in darkness and sings to cheer its own solitude with sweet sounds. Percy Bysshe Shelley

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I hope you don't end up terribly disappointed. I do my best to amuse myself and have recently felt inclined to share. That is all.

Keith Logan
the happy chappy

Keith Logan
the happy chappy
https://www.neopoet.com/community-guidelines

author comment
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